Oasis (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter 13 | Heaven and Hell

Very quickly, Kyungsoo and I found that we liked kissing each other. It was for a reason that's hard to put into words without sounding vague and distorted, but to say it in its simplest form, we just liked it. We liked the feeling being able to feel each other's lips gave us. We liked how close it brought us, both emotionally and physically. We liked knowing that it meant we trusted each other. We liked knowing that it meant we weren't alone in the world. Actually, now that I think of it, maybe there wasn't a specific reason we liked kissing each other. Maybe there were several.

It was very rare to find us apart after that. If you got the impression that we close before, you can disregard it because we were too close to even be classified as close anymore. It was actually kind of ridiculous how much time we spent together, and it was even more ridiculous that it was all sparked by a kiss. I still find it funny how sharing something as intimate as a kiss with someone can completely transform a relationship, whether it be in a good way or a bad way. But luckily for me, it was in the good way.

He sat quietly in front and to the left of me as I drew. Oh, did I tell you? I started a new piece after that as well. I wasn't abandoning the one I started, rather I was taking a break from it so that I could let what I already had down ripen for a bit. Plus, it's impossible to stop an artist from acting when Inspiration strikes him.

"Jongin?" he said in a curious tone of voice, setting his pen down and looking at me.

"Hmm?" I replied lowly, keeping my lips locked together and my eyes focused on the canvas.

"Do you believe in Heaven and Hell?" he asked. I stopped and turned in his direction, furrowing my eyebrows.

"What does that have to do with anything right now?" I said.

"Nothing, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't answer my question," he said. We continued to look, or stare, at each other for a moment and not because of that romantic or cheesy reason you may think. We did that whenever we wanted the other to do or say something he didn't want to. It was like our own personal Cold War except with silent threats spoken with our eyes.

"Ugh, fine, you win," I said, breaking away first and blinking my eyes to give them relief. He chuckled in victory and adjusted on the stool a bit as I sighed and tried to think of an answer. "I don't know, maybe I do. It's what they teach in church, right? If you are good human being you go to Heaven and if you're an awful one you go to Hell."

"Yeah, but doesn't that seem a bit confusing to you?" he said, eyebrows creased again. "I mean, if God created everyone and loves everyone, why would he let them be damned to roast in Hell, even if they are bad people?"

"Because he's God and he can do whatever he wants," I replied as I put my attention back on my artwork. "I mean, look at those Christians that say God loves his children and then turn around and say he hates gays. When it comes to religion, it doesn't have to make sense to make people believe it."

"That's what I mean," he said. "What's the point in following a religion if it's full of hypocrisy? Today, I mark the day I officially called myself an atheist. I don't believe in god or anything close to it. I just believe in."

I chuckled. "Then what do you believe in?" I asked, putting a part of my attention back on the canvas. 

"I don't know." I was only looking at him out of the corner of my eye, but I could tell he had one of those cute, confused pouts on his face. I couldn't help but smile at him, especially considering he probably never even knew how adorable he looked at that moment. "I'd like to think we all just go to the same place, that the crimes you commit in your physical body don't have any bearing on the nature of your soul or where you end up when you die." I turned my face to look at him fully now. He was still pouting slightly, but his lips were soon pulled into a small grin. "Yeah, let's go with that," he said, lowering his head and continuing to write. 

"What's that?" I asked, referring to the journal looking thing in his hands.

"Oh, this?" he said, holding it up. I nodded my head. "It's my journal. I write in it whenever something I want to remember happens."

"Is that a part of your therapy?" I said next.

"No." He shook his head faintly. "I've had this ever since I was diagnosed. That was the first thing ever I wrote in here." He clutched it close to his chest and I saw a tiny smile grace his lips as he looked down on it. I could just tell by that smile alone that that journal meant the world to him. "Oh, I have to go," he said after glancing up at the clock on the wall.

"Where?" I asked as he put the stool back where he found it.

"Therapy, where else?" he said, emitting a knowing hum from me. He came over to me and blessed my lips with a quick but sweet kiss before scurrying toward the door. "Bye!" He waved to me.

"Bye, hyung," I said, waving faintly in reply and chuckling. After seeing him disappear down the open corridor, I twisted my torso back around and proceeded to draw, adding more graphite to the lines that were already there to thicken them. As I continued to do that, I heard the art room door open and turned my head in that direction, seeing my therapist walk in.

"Good afternoon, Jongin," she said, smiling kindly at me before spinning around briskly to close the door.

"Hi," I said, slightly confused as to why she was in there.

"Still working on that painting, huh?" she said, pulling up a chair and sitting next to me.

"It's a new one actually," I said, glancing back at it. "I'm taking a break from the other one. And it's drawing, not a painting. I didn't think paint would work well with this idea."

"Oh, well, at least you're investing your time efficiently," she said, crossing her long legs. I only sighed in response to that.

"What do you want?" I asked, pressing the pencil to the paper again. "If I'm not mistaken, our session isn't for another hour."

"No, you're right," she said with a little nod. "I just thought it'd be nice to get out of my office for a change. Plus, I figured the earlier I got you in the more time you'd have to spend with Kyungsoo." I momentarily froze after hearing her words, and then slowly began to move my pencil again. "You're warming up to him, aren't you?" she asked. "You like having his company?"

"Yeah," I said, sounding unfocused. "I guess he's alright. Why? Was that part of my test?"

"No, I was just eager to see if you would or not," she said. "I'm glad you did. He's been a great influence on you, I can tell. The staff hasn't reported any problems with you for the last month and a half. I'm proud of you, Jongin, for letting someone in." I exhaled and leaned back a little, observing the finished product from top to bottom and from side to side.

"I wouldn't say I let him in completely yet," I said, my eyes still scanning over it. "But I think I'm definitely getting there." And that was how I came to finish my first work of art.

A/N

This was more of filler chapter, but I'd rather it turn out that way than leave you guys with nothing.

Just as a reference, if you haven't already connected it, the pic in the media is supposed to be Jongin's finished work.

Thank you for reading! I will be back with another chapter soon! :) <3