Oasis (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter 20 | Different

Okay, now that that's out of the way, we can get back to the story. I'll warn you, though, I'm partially asleep as I'm writing this, so please bear with me if I don't express my thoughts as intricately as did before. 

Now, where was I? Oh, that's right, Kyungsoo's operation. So, as you can predict, two days later he was put under for at least four hours and came out completely blind. The doctors who successfully operated on him recommended moving him to a different ward in the hospital for his safety and so they could have him close if something went awry, but I, after much convincing, persuaded them to let him stay with me, promising that I would keep a careful eye on him and assist when he needed assistance.

He was rather quiet and respectably lethargic when he first awoke from his slumber state, but I knew the drugs were to blame for that. Drowsily so, he sat up in his bed and moaned as he stretched a little. He did this as I was making my bed, but I stopped as soon as I saw his movement and went over to his bedside.

"Jongin?" he said quietly, a certain edge to his voice since it had been almost 24 hours since his last words. "Are you here?"

"Yeah," I said, gently grabbing onto his hand. "I'm right here, hyung." He exhaled in relief and I could almost see him smile. "How do you feel? I asked, taking a seat on his bed but keeping our hands together in the process.

"Different," he replied, lifting his shaking hands to feel the glasses on his face. He adjusted his body, cautiously lowering his hands back onto the bed. "It's so dark. I didn't think it would be this dark." The final words came out as a somber whisper and I knew his emotional state had also been affected by the operation. But I also knew he'd never let his vulnerability show.

"Well, at least you're alive, right?" I said. I know, sounds like a Kyungsoo line, but at that time, Kyungsoo wasn't there. At least not the Kyungsoo I knew.

He smiled and nodded, doing both faintly. "Yeah," he said. I couldn't even fathom what he was going through and to some extent, I can't today, even having been through four years of cancerous hell. But, nonetheless, I felt this obligation to him, this obligation to be his source of consolation. The only way I could do that, though, was to just be there, be there whenever he needed me and even when he didn't.

"Do you want to eat something?" I asked. "Are you hungry? The doctor said it was okay for you to eat now."

"Yeah," he whispered, nodding his head as he spoke airily.

"Okay," I said, sliding off the bed. He began to move as well and I kept my hands extended a few centimeters out in front of me in case he needed help. I didn't want to be overbearingly helpful because he was the type of person that insisted on being 100% selfless and 0% helpless.

"Are my feet on the floor?" he asked, now on the edge of the bed. "I can't tell."

"Almost," I answered, stepping one foot closer to him. "Here, give me your hand." His hand floated in the air for a moment before it found mine and latched onto it. "Careful, careful." Ever so slightly, I pulled him off the bed and helped his body get on balance once he was standing. He almost lost his balance at first because of his newly found state of darkness and the fact that he had been laying down for such an extended period of time, but luckily, his body leaned in my direction and I caught him before he could fall. 

"It's okay," I whispered softly to him, one of my arms wrapped around him. His breathing was faster than it was before, giving away the fast beating of his heart from inside his chest. "You're okay, hyung," I said. "I've got you." He swallowed and nodded faintly and I removed my arm from around his waist, but instead slid it up to the middle of his back, leaving my other hand to connect tightly with his. After we left the room, I continued to give him small encouragements on the way to the cafeteria, speaking only loud enough so that he could hear me. His feet were shuffling rather than lifting off the ground, but I didn't mind. After all, I couldn't imagine what it must have been like to try walking without sight.