Oasis (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter 26 | Inspiration

He barely wanted to leave my side after that. I found myself getting up earlier than I would have just to go to his room in the emergency patients' ward so that I could be there when he woke up. If I didn't do that, he would start panicking and asking the doctors where I was and if I died overnight, and then they'd have to sedate him. That happened once and I can tell you it was the worst thing to hear and not only because he was hurt. 

It was because of the overall change he had undergone and what it meant. Sure, I liked that he was becoming vulnerable with me and opening up about his inner feelings, but I could see that Death was consuming him, and not so slow either. All the time he would say that he doesn't want to die and that he's afraid of dying, so I couldn't help but worry about him. He was shedding his skin, but at the same time, he was shedding the only lining he had to protect his innocent heart from the pain that is Death. Sometimes, it made me wish that the old stubborn and ambiguous Kyungsoo was still around.

As my collection of paintings and drawings grew, I started to think that taking Kyungsoo's advice would be a good idea. My therapist even told me that even though she loved my enthusiasm for art, other patients would want to use the art room and that my works were taking up too much room in there. So, I hauled them all out and put them in the gallery he got me for my birthday. Then, an idea struck me. It was an idea that would take lots of work and help from other people, but since it would be for Kyungsoo, I knew it was definitely more than worth it.

I spent the evenings after Kyungsoo fell asleep designing the gallery and hanging up paintings in places they looked best. I bet was up until three or four in the morning working on that place, making sure that everything was properly aligned and symmetrical. Then at five, I'd be off to my room to get an hour or so of sleep before going up to Kyungsoo's room. Then I'd repeat the cycle: spend the day with him, work on the gallery, go to sleep. It was a strenuous cycle to repeat every day week after week and month after month, but I just had to remind myself of one thing: it was all for him.

One morning on my way up, I waited patiently in the elevator until it got to the right floor, stepping off when I heard the ring of the bell. "What do you mean you don't know if he's okay?" I heard Kyungsoo's panicking voice as soon as I got off, turning my head to see him standing at the nurse's station. "You're a nurse. You have to know if he's okay."

"I'm sorry, Kyungsoo," she said, shaking her head and trying to sound as calm as possible. "I work in this ward and not in his, so I don't know if Jongin is okay or not. I'm sorry."

"But someone has to know something," he said in a pleading voice as I began to make my way over to him.

"I don't know what to tell you, Kyungsoo," she said. "It's only 6:21, so maybe he's still asleep. Do you want me to call down to the other nurses?"

"No, that won't be necessary," I said, interrupting them. Both of them looked in my direction when I spoke and I smiled at Kyungsoo. "I'm right here, hyung," I said in a gentle voice, rubbing his arm. He sighed in relief and laid his head on my chest, prompting me to wrap my arms around him. "I'm sorry for the disturbance," I said to the nurse, bowing to her. She smiled and nodded at me in return. "Come on, hyung," I said as I looked down at him. "Let's go back to your room." He nodded and then I led him to his room, helping him get in bed safely once we were inside. "You shouldn't worry so much about me," I said to him, sitting in a chair at his bedside.

"I know, but I do," he said, feeling the bed around him before scooting back on it more. "I always wonder if you died in the middle of the night and then I wake up panicked because I didn't get to say goodbye."

"Hyung," I said after sighing heavily. "I would never leave you without saying goodbye first, just like I know you wouldn't leave me without saying goodbye." He smiled and so did I. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?" I asked him.