Dead!

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Joseph Faulkner, but you can just call me Joe," the man said. "What's your name, little girl?"

"Ivy Livingston, and please don't call me 'little girl,'" I said. "I'm sixteen."

Joe chuckled and stroked his long, silver beard. "When you've been around for this long, everyone starts to seem young. Tell me, what year is it?"

"2016," I said.

"I've been here for..." He paused as he tried to do the math in his head. "Two hundred years now."

"Two hundred years?! You've been here since 1816?!" I shouted.

"Yes," Joe said. "It's been two hundred years and they still haven't called #42."

"Will I have to wait that long?" I asked.

"Probably not," Joe said. "Most people are called very quickly after they arrive. It's the second time around that usually takes longer."

"What are you talking about?" I said. I honestly did not get the rules of this place. Everything was just so confusing, and I had so many questions running through my head.

"Your number gets called twice," Joe explained. "The first time around, the Celestial Bureaucracy asks you a bunch of questions about how you died and all of that. It's been two hundred years since I was in there, of course, but I've heard that they've replaced the phrenological examination with some newfangled machine that analyzes your soul."

"So this really is purgatory," I said.

"I suppose you could call it that," Joe said.

"That means I'm dead," I said. It still came as a surprise, even though I had suspected it earlier. I'd never see any of the people I loved again. I'd never see my family, Chloe, Dash, my boyfriend Caleb, or any of my other friends again. I could barely even process all of the thoughts going through my head, but I did feel a sudden sense of loss - a realization that my previous life was gone, and I would never be able to go back, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Any other questions?" Joe asked.

"What happens when they call you the second time?" I asked. I was still in a daze, but I desperately needed to know more about the situation.

"I don't know for sure, since I haven't been called yet," Joe answered. "From what I've heard, that's when you get sorted into Heaven or Hell." Joe sighed. "I've seen so many people come and go over the years. Now, it all just seems to bleed together."

"How did you die?" I asked him. I wasn't sure what the rules were about asking people that, especially so bluntly, but I was curious.

"I was attacked by a bear," Joe stated.

"There were bears in Iowa?" I said incredulously.

"When I was alive, there were," Joe said. "It was Indian country back then. Iowa wasn't even a territory, much less a state, and I was just a trader trying to make a living by venturing out into the wild. Then, I got myself killed by a black bear and now I'm here."

"If you were really killed by a bear, then why don't have any scars?" I asked.

"The Celestial Bureaucracy gets rid of all evidence of your direct cause of death upon arrival," Joe explained. "Nobody knows how they do it, and nobody's ever going to find out. I think you'll find out very quickly that the Bureaucracy likes to keep its secrets."

"So the Celestial Bureaucracy runs everything in the...afterlife?" I said.

"Yes," Joe said. "You're adjusting remarkably quickly. I've seen so many people break down completely when I tell them that they're dead. Maybe that's why they haven't called my number yet. Maybe I'm just here to tell everyone that they're dead. Then again, they created that newfangled device to do that."

"What 'newfangled device?'" I asked.

"Your...oh, what do they call it these days? Telephone?" Joe said. "It's that thing in your pocket. It has a page with all of the frequently asked questions, starting with 'Where am I?'" I facepalmed. Why didn't I think of that earlier? "You all are so lucky that you get those things. When I got here, that ticket dispenser wasn't even here. It was just a few people up at those desks at the front, and one person to hand out the tickets."

"Joe, I get it," I said. "You're old."

"Kids these days..." Joe grumbled. "I just hope they call #42 soon."

"Now serving Number 346!" I heard. "Number 346, please come to the front of the room! Number 346! To all others: remember that numbers may be called out of order. Number 346!"

It really did seem like I was going to be stuck here for a while. Hopefully I wouldn't be here as long as Joe had been here, but for my new friend, I wished that they just would call #42.

I looked around the room. There were so many faces out there. Some looked scared, others simply seemed bored. There were so many people, and yet, I had never felt more alone in my life.

I got out of my chair and started walking around, hoping to see someone who wasn't decades older than me or a complete loser.

Clearly this didn't work, because as I was walking, I crashed right into none other than Maya Jackson.