Dead!

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Days passed, and as those days turned into weeks, I had plenty of time to think. Despite having all of those people around, I had never felt lonelier. I only knew a handful of them, and I hadn't made any real friends. All of my friends were still alive, living their lives without me.

One day, I checked my texts out of habit and saw that Chloe had texted me. I entered my password and looked at the messages.

November 14th, 2016, 1:30 PM: Ivy, where the hell are you?!?

November 14th, 2016, 3:12 PM: Your name is on the list for some reason. Please tell me that's a mistake.

November 14th, 2016, 3:14 PM: Ivy?

November 14th, 2016, 3:17 PM: IVY RESPOND TO YOUR FREAKING TEXTS

November 30th, 2016, 9:52 PM: Hey Ivy. I know you're dead, so it's kind of pointless to text you, but I read a book once where the main character wrote letters to the dead, and it made her feel better, so maybe this will help me. It won't bring you back, but this is the best I have. Everyone at school misses you like crazy. Cheer isn't the same without you, and I miss our little conversations in English class and the stops at Starbucks before school. Honestly, I just miss having you here.

December 3rd, 2016, 6:15 AM: Ivy, if you were here, you would be so shocked. Caroline and Damian broke up! I mean, isn't it crazy? They've been together forever! Apparently Damian cheated on her with some freshman. Anyways, I have to get to school. Sara is driving me there now, since my parents still won't get me a car and I refuse to take the bus.

December 8th, 2016, 12:27 PM: Caroline mentioned you during lunch today. She said that she wished that you were still at our lunch table so you could cast the deciding vote on whether to get chocolate or vanilla ice cream for the party on Friday. I know that you would have said chocolate. It's so awkward talking about you, Ivy. We're all trying to move on and pretend that nothing happened, but at the same time, we all miss you. I think I just need someone to talk to. Maybe this is why I'm doing this.

December 9th, 2016, 4:56 PM: Hey Ivy, are you coming to the party tonight?

December 9th, 2016, 4:57 PM: Oops, sorry. I forgot that you were dead.

December 14th, 2016, 8:05 PM: It's weird to say this, but I just got back from your funeral. The whole thing was kind of a blur, since I was bawling my eyes out the entire time, but I got the feeling that maybe I'm not alone in all of this. There were so many people there, Ivy, and they all lost someone. Your parents lost a daughter. Heather lost her older sister. Our cheer coach lost a cheerleader. And I lost my best friend. So Ivy, wherever you are now, just know that so many people cared about you. Why am I talking about you in past tense? I still care about you.

December 19th, 2016, 1:44 PM: It's the first day of Winter Break, and my mom decided to drag me off to therapy. Apparently she thinks that I spend too much time obsessing over you. What can I say? My best friend just died. It would be weird for me not to go crazy after this.

December 19th, 2016, 4:29 PM: I've always felt a little bit guilty about this whole thing, but I know it's not my fault. That freak Anthony Wilson did this. If he didn't kill himself, I would have hunted him down. Hello, my name is Chloe Fox. You killed my friend. Prepare to die.

December 21st, 2016, 2:01 AM: All I'm trying to say here is that I really freaking wish you were here, Ivy.

I wanted to reply to her so badly. I wanted to tell her about everything that had happened and how I missed her too, but my phone wouldn't let me. Then again, maybe it was for the best. Chloe would be so freaked out if she saw that I had actually replied to her texts.

I put my phone back into my pocket and slumped back into my chair. It felt like this was never going to end, but maybe I deserved these weeks of bureaucratic torture. Hell couldn't be that much worse than this.

"Now serving Number 671!" I heard. "Number 671, please come to the front of the room! Number 671! To all others: remember that numbers may be called out of order. Number 671!"

Anthony Wilson had been waiting in the darkest corner of the room, and when his number was called, he slowly headed towards the desks at the front. This is so unfair, I thought. How did Anthony get called twice before the rest of us got called the first time? Maybe they were just trying to get rid of the crazies first. I watched him as he went to the front of the room and then went through the door and disappeared.

That was the last time I saw Anthony Wilson.

He probably went to Hell, I thought. He killed five people. How could he not go to Hell for that? At that moment, I think I felt just a little bit sorry for Anthony. He was a complete psycho, but maybe he wouldn't have turned into a crazy murderer if it wasn't for me. After all, my friends and I were the ones who would always say those awful things about him. I wondered what would have happened if we hadn't done all of that. Maybe Anthony would have stayed away from us. Maybe he wouldn't have gone to Hell. Maybe both of us would still be alive.

As I thought of all of this, I remembered an article that I saw on the FAQ page.

Q: I think I'm going to Hell. What should I do?!

A: Calm down. It's quite possible that you might end up in Heaven. The panel of judges that decide whether you are going to Heaven or Hell attempt to be fair to all religions; therefore, even if you broke one of your religion's minor rules, you may still be eligible to go to Heaven.

If you are still uncertain about where you will end up, ask yourself if you did something in life that may have hurt others in a significant way. If the answer is yes, then you may still have a chance of ending up in Hell, but remember that the rules can be flexible, and a number of factors go into the judges' decision to send someone into Heaven or Hell.

I was definitely on a highway to Hell, and I couldn't change that. As much as I wanted to go to Heaven, I was stuck. It was only a matter of time before I followed Anthony into the fiery depths of Hell, and I just had to accept that.