Dead!

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

I opened my eyes, and I was back in Grandma's living room. Jordan was nowhere to be found, but Maya was standing right next to me, screaming at the top of her lungs.

"MY PATRICK STUMP POSTER!!" she shouted. "IT'S GONE!"

"Why do you care so much?" I said. "It's just a poster."

"It's not just a poster," Maya said. "It's the only poster I have of Patrick Stump's beautiful face, and now it's gone!"

"Can't you just get a new one?" I asked.

"Yeah, but these things are hard to find in the afterlife," Maya said. "Not many people around here are young enough to have even heard of Fall Out Boy."

"Even if it's hard to find, the poster is replaceable," I told Maya. "Fixing the kitchen is going to be much more difficult and expensive than getting a new poster."

"But it's Patrick Stump!" Maya whined. She began to sob as she walked away, her eyeliner dripping down her face.

"Stop being so stereotypical," I said. "This is literally what people think of when they think of pathetic emos."

"Leave me alone!" Maya snapped. She slammed her bedroom door, and I climbed upstairs so I could go into my room. Once I got there, I immediately collapsed onto the bed and pulled out my phone.

I had gotten a handful of messages while I was gone, mostly from Grandma. I would have gone back downstairs to let her know that I was here, but I was certain that Maya had told her already. Samantha had also texted me to let me know that she was okay. I wanted to tell her about everything that had happened with Jordan, but I knew that was probably a bad idea. I was bored and had nothing to do, so once I was done checking my messages in Angel Wings, I decided to check my old texting app as well.

I regretted it as soon as I saw how many messages Chloe had sent to me. Didn't she have something better to do with her life? I hadn't checked these texts since I had entered Heaven, and I knew that these would only accumulate, so I sorted through all of them.

February 17th, 2017, 4:14 PM: I have community service again today, but this is my last day. I'm glad to finally be done with this. Once again, I wish you were here too. You'd have something clever to say about all of this.

February 22nd, 2017, 2:06 AM: I can't sleep. I'm thinking too much (help me). Mostly I'm just wondering where you are now. I'd like to think that you're in Heaven, but I'm not sure if I really believe in that stuff. God wouldn't take you away from us so soon, right? Maybe none of that's real, and you're just rotting in the ground. I don't know.

February 27th, 2017, 7:59 PM: There's another party tonight, but my parents are home, and they won't let me go. Caroline's mad at me for not coming, so I guess I'll just text you, even though I know you won't reply. It's kind of pathetic, really. Maybe I should just stop.

February 27th, 2017, 10:41 PM: Never mind. It feels good to do this sometimes. It's irrational and probably unhealthy, but I don't care. I can let my feelings out, and nobody will ever read it, because you're gone, and there's nothing that I can do about it. I'm just feeling so lonely tonight. Caroline, Sara, and everyone else are out partying, and I'm sitting here all alone. Remember the time when my parents wouldn't let me go to Caroline's birthday party in sixth grade because there were a bunch of boys there, and you stayed home too, just because I couldn't go? I wish you could do that for me now.

March 1st, 2017, 3:47 PM: Caroline can be so mean sometimes. Today, she told Brad about how I text you sometimes, and he laughed! It was so embarrassing, especially since she knows that I like him. Now Brad thinks that I'm a weirdo, so I have no chance with him. I don't know why Caroline even said that. It's not like she really has anything against me.

March 8th, 2017, 11:57 AM: It's lunch now, and I'm sitting by myself, since Cassie took my usual spot. It's really weird. I'm never alone at lunch. Anyways, I talked to Caleb during economics today. He seems to be doing okay, and he hates economics almost as much as I do. You know that my parents made me take that stupid class. He found a new girlfriend, and I'm kind of mad that he moved on so soon, but he seems happy. Maybe I shouldn't say that he moved on so soon. It's been almost four months now.

March 11th, 2017, 3:17 AM: I know it's late (or is it early? It's technically morning), but I wanted to talk to you. I feel like I'm getting pushed out of my own friend group. I've been eating alone for the last few days. It's like Caroline would rather have Cassie in our friend group than me. I don't get why she wants to be friends with her. Cassie's kind of weird. Besides, I've been friends with Caroline since middle school. You would stick up for me if you were here, right?

March 15th, 2017, 6:30 PM: Hey Sara, want to go get some pizza?

March 15th, 2017, 6:33 PM: Sorry, wrong number.

March 21st, 2017, 9:25 AM: Happy birthday, Ivy! I'm just thinking about what it would be like if you were still here. You and I probably would have gone to the mall sometime this weekend to celebrate - that's what we always do. We would be celebrating the fact that you're seventeen now and you can drive all of us now instead of just me. Instead, I'm at the cemetery right now, wishing that you were here.

March 30th, 2017, 12:16 PM: My life sucks right now. Caroline still hates me, and if Caroline hates me, then everyone hates me. I feel like she's taking over your position in the group, if that makes any sense. I never felt like there was a hierarchy within our group of friends, but it's obvious now that you're gone. You were the leader, and I was the second in command, but now you're gone, and Caroline's taken over. She's trying to kick me out of the group, which isn't fair at all. I've never been anything but nice to her.

April 4th, 2017, 8:11 PM: My mom thinks that I should go back to therapy. Even she thinks that I'm crazy for talking to you. Why does everyone think that I'm insane? I swear that I'm not crazy, and I definitely don't need therapy. I'm just a normal teenager with normal problems. I'm not the psycho that everyone says that I am.

April 6th, 12:03 AM: I heard from your sister that she saw you when she and her friends tried to summon a demon. I don't believe her - it must have been some trick. Nevertheless, I wish that you had really been there. At least I could know that you're happy and safe wherever you are now.

That was the last message that Chloe had sent me. I wanted to tell her so many things, but I couldn't. If only I could contact the living in Heaven. For now, I could only watch Chloe stumble aimlessly through her life, uncertain of where to go now that I couldn't help her.

I looked at the clock and realized how late at night it was. I wasn't that tired, but I collapsed onto my bed anyways, hoping to get some beauty rest. I only wished that Chloe would be able to find her way again.