Blinded

Chapter 5: Unsorted Feelings

"Shizu-chan, your effort disgusts me,"

Izaya voiced out of a sudden, forcefully pulling the blonde out of his trance. His eyes blinked a few times, warily watching the smaller male in front of him as he continued;

"We hate each other, but why do you still visit me everyday?"

Shizuo stayed silent. His mind still in the mid-train of thoughts about the incident that occured, yet his protozoanic brain struggled for a suitable answer. He knew nothing came logical when it came to the answers towards the raven's question; yet he tried to give his best shot;

"I figured you would at least remember what happened if I stay with you. Because I still didn't know what turned you into that,"

He pointed to the thin figure in front of him despite the fact that Izaya was now permanently blinded.

The flea snickered and turned his head awkwardly to another direction. It was true he couldn't remember a thing except for the suicide attempts he made. The only thing remained in his memory was the way he drugged himself and cut his own flesh, but he couldn't make out whatever reason for his previous actions.

"That didn't make us friends, Shizuo,"

The debt collecter was slightly taken aback upon hearing his real name being called; knowing at once Izaya was serious about the topic.

"I can no longer live happily without my eyesight," the raven continued, mumbling slightly, voice quavering as he gazed into thin air. "You could have let me died in front of your doorstep. There'll be no more struggling and annoying sounds coming out from my mouth and you'll only need to watch my corpse rot,"

Shizuo frowned. He was slightly enraged with the words coming out of his nemesis'; or friend's, he didn't know; mouth. It felt offensive in his ears, but he couldn't blame him for thinking that way. They had been enemies for god knows how long, and with the loss of memory the informant was experiencing; the problem seemed all too hard and complicated to understand.

"Why won't you just accept the fact that I am standing here beside you?"

"It disgusts me, Shizu-chan. I can recall my memories by my own so there's not a need for you to be around me 24/7,"

Izaya gritted his teeth. He was getting angry for no reason and he hated when the protozoan stayed still and not mad at him. So unpredictable; the only reason why Izaya couldn't bring himself to love that beast just as much as he love his humans.

Shizuo was a damned unpredictable beast; he loathed him.
"Like hell I'd just let you go like that after you showed up in front of my doorstep, blood dripping from your limbs and all?! I'm no fool, flea."

Now it was Shizuo's turn to grit his teeth, holding down his threatening anger. They had known each other for what felt like an eternity. The informant had always been in his mind, no matter how hard he tried to erase the thoughts away.

For almost 10 years he chased after him, reaching out to catch and kill the raven. He was always on his back, so close to catch yet so far to succeed. Shizuo may had never seen how human Izaya was, but he knew the man had his problems himself. There were times where he was caught off guard, and in times like that, Shizuo would let him go. He didn't really want to kill the flea, neither did Izaya wanted to kill him, or so he believed.

They had been on each other's necks for too long that none of their emotions seemed foreign to each other.

Suddenly he heard the giggle Izaya voiced out as he spoke, "You're no fool, right? Then why are you still here and not killing me? I'm vulnerable right now so it'll only be fair if you'd take my life away, right here in the hospital bed. Or could it be the venue is forcing you to keep your actions down? I'm surprised you hadn't started throwing things at me Shizu-chan,"

His words dropped like venom but his voice surpressed more honesty. The blonde knew he was provoking him just to make him mad again so that he could leave him alone. But Shizuo was not in the mood to step down from this encounter.

Izaya was breaking, he knew. So he stayed calm and closed their distance, stepping closer towards the hospital bed as the raven turned his head to the sound of his footsteps.

"Shizu-"

Instantly Shizuo's hand wrapped around Izaya's, making the raven flinch.

"I've known you too much and like I said, I'm no fool, Izaya. Stop acting tough and accept the help I'm offering!"

"I can't because I hate you, Shizuo!"

The blonde stopped to look at the lithe male. He was shivering, maybe because of anger or fright; he didn't know. His hand felt cold in his grasp as he eyed the man suspiciously. He was still gritting his teeth and Shizuo could make out small beads of tears lingering in the corner of his eyes, waiting to be spilled over something he didn't know.

Izaya had something else in his mind, something he didn't want anyone to know-

"Izaya...did you love me...?"

Hi~!! I'm here for the weekend, so good news ^u^♡♡
Though I'm not sure whether I'll be around next week or not, I'll try my best to update as much as I can before returning to my hostel :D
Thank you for reading and supporting me! I love you guys!