Chasing Luck (Niall Horan)

Epilogue

Epilogue

Imagine being with someone for five years. There’s no marriage, no promises that you will get married into the future; there’s nothing but hope that you’ll stay together, that maybe things won’t end. However, it’s not the same for people looking outside at the relationship. They think, “Everything’s fine. They’ve been together for five years. It’s not like they’ll up and quit on each other -- right?”

I’ve been there. No, scratch that. I’m in that situation right now with Niall. I go to sleep at night, hoping that our love life will be better tomorrow only to be let down and disappointed. I’ve tried everything -- including spicing up the sex life, but it does nothing. He only acts the same way before. I’ve cried myself to sleep when he wasn’t around, or was already asleep. I’ve slept at Christina’s orphanage with Louise just to get away from him and the depression that comes with being around him. And, he’s been so distant lately that it seems like he’s been in another world, somewhere far better than where he is right now.

Maybe that’s why he’s off drinking so much. He’s off having fun with his buddies, having a laugh with them. He’s having a much better time with them then he is with his girlfriend of five years.

I clutched my arms closer to my chest as I start rocking myself back and forth. I can feel the pressure of the invisible boa constrictor wrapping it’s body around my chest, tightening my lungs and my ability to breath. I could feel it coming -- the body shaking sobs.

I covered my mouth with a hand as the first one escaped my chapped lips. I closed my eyes as tears sprung out and started falling down my cheeks one by one.

The ache in my heart was too much for me to hold in. I broke down on the floor of the kitchen, hugging my knees to my chest and sobbing into the tops of my knees. Every now and then, I tried wiping away the oncoming tears.

“I hate this,” I muttered out, wiping away more tears.

I heard footsteps and I swore, knowing Louise was still at a friends house for the weekend. It was only Niall coming home. I quickly wiped away as many tears as I could and rose to my feet before Niall could see how much of a mess I was on the floor.

“Allie?” Niall’s voice came closer and closer. “Are you in the kitchen?”

I prayed that my voice didn’t crack when I spoke aloud.

“Yeah,” I croaked out, my voice a little shaky and rough, a clear sign that something was not right. “I’m in here.”

Niall appeared in front of me, my sore eyes looking him up and down. His hair was a mess, his shirt and jeans wrinkled. My breath seemed to have caught in my throat. If I wasn’t mistaken, he looked like he’d just had sex -- and I would know, I’m his girlfriend.

Immediately, I glanced down, not being able to look at him any longer without wanting to burst into tears again. I didn’t want Niall to know he’d upset me. A moment of silence passed between us before a solitary tear strolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and regretted it the moment I let the tear out.

“Why are you crying?” I heard Niall’s voice, completely emotionless -- almost dead.

“I...”

Should I tell him? Should I tell him how much I’ve been crying at night or when I was alone, or how much I missed the way we used to be? It was true. We’d fallen apart, and I don’t remember when it all started. We weren’t the same couple as we were when we first got together.

“Do you miss the way we used to be?” I asked quietly, my eyes still on the poorly mopped ground. I could still see specks of stains on the tiled floor.