Hollow (Harry Styles) #Wattys2016

Chapter 97

Songs:

I'm So Tired: The Beatles

Skinny Love: Birdy

Story  of My Life/ Infinity: One Direction

Breathe (2 AM)- Acoustic Version: Anna Nalick

Harry's POV

I was officially twenty minutes late for dinner with, Katarina. A dinner that I had insinuated. I have been sitting outside the all too familiar bar I had been coming to for the past few weeks. It was a little hole in the wall compared to all the other places I would usually frequent. I liked it, no one I knew ever really came here. It was my sanctuary. I hated it. Katarina was my real sanctuary, this was just a replacement of her. How fucked up was that? I had replaced the amazing feelings I got from being around girlfriend with the emptiness of being alone at a bar until I got so fucking drunk, I couldn't think straight.

I finally left my car and headed into the bar, taking my usual seat at the bar. The bartender didn't even have to ask me what I wanted, she just set down my usual drink with a shake of her head. She was all too familiar with me and my troubles. You know how they say bartenders make better therapists, it's actually true.

As much time as I had spent here and as much as I told her, I was pretty sure, the bartender and I were probably considered best friends.

I sat in my seat, watching as everyone else was pretty doing the same thing I was doing. Wallowing in self pity. We were all pathetic. I was pathetic.

All I wanted to do was go home and be with, Katarina. Be with her and love her the way I wanted to and the way she deserved to be loved.

I paid my tab and headed out to where I knew, Landon would be waiting. No matter how many times I would tell him I'd be fine on my own, he would never leave. Probably didn't trust me enough. It's not like I had given anyone reason to. I had quickly become an irresponsible drunk that didn't give a shit about anything or anyone.

As I suspected, Landon was in his own, usual spot, waiting. I shook my head at myself, climbing in the backseat while, Landon wasted no time getting in the driver's seat. Without having to ask or me telling him, he made his way home. I think he has also given up and trying to get through to me. Every single night he would tell me I needed to stop what I was doing and man up. Pretty much everyone did, but it was slightly different coming from, Landon. When he said it, I felt like I was disappointing him, and that hurt me in some way.

I suppose, he was the only one certified enough to call me out on my bullshit. He was literally with me almost 24/7, he saw everything that happened from the moment I left home to the moment I came back and then some. There were some times when I would throw my fits that, Katarina had to call him and sometimes, Pete to get me to stop when she simply didn't want to deal with me, which would piss me off even more. Honestly, I'm surprised he hasn't quit yet.

I'm surprised I still had the friends that I did, and more than that, I was surprised that, Katarina had stuck around this long. I knew she was getting to her breaking point. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt it in my bones, something was off in the air, I just knew it. But, I was too damn stubborn and stupid to say or do anything about it.

I had promised, Katarina that I was really going to try this time. I promised her that I was going to show her that I was serious about getting us back to a better place. Yet, here I was, three and a half hours late to our dinner. I didn't even know how I was going to explain this to her.

How the hell was I supposed to tell her that I was scared to come home. I knew I shouldn't be, but I was. Over the past weeks, the only thing we were good at was not talking to each other and having sex, an occasional fight here and there. How in the world was I supposed to sit through an awkward dinner and face her after everything that I have done to her. What would we even talk about? We had nothing in common anymore besides work, and I doubt work related topics were a suitably dinner conversation, especially in the state we were in.