avery → h.s

thirty two

If there's one thing I've always known about Clara's the fact that she always treasure what it feels to be loved. With her messed up parents and not to mention the aftereffects of being an only child; one of them is having the need to have someone who cares. Since her parents always out she's used to being alone, but in the end still want things to turn out different way.

And after that night when we were juniors she called me at two in the morning and poured every single of her hearts saying she was alone. She was tired. She needed care. Not big mansion, cars, gourmet and fancy dresses. I knew then and now I have the responsibility to fill in her empty and hollowed heart.

Not until she betrayed me.

If she would told me three years before, saying truth even though it was going to hurt at least things wouldn't turned out like this. I haven't seen her and Harry since that day in front of my house, which is almost a month before today. I had finished my finals and so did she. And from what I've heard, the two has always been together ever since. Truthfully I'm glad I didn't happen to bump into them in the school's corridor or even catch the sight of them otherwise I'm pretty sure I'm going to break down at that very moment.

She was strong and the world needs to know it.

But after Harry told me precisely five minutes ago she tried to cut herself earlier today, I can barely hold it together. It gives a hole in my chest. Because what's left to us if even the strong ones break?

"Harry!" I shout histerically on the hospital's corridor once I spotted him leaning on the wall. People start looking at me with a look of confusion and disdain. I couldn't care less. Subsequently I run over to him, not caring one bit about our condition. If I were to say the truth it kills me how he looks right now.

He looks tired. Bags under his eyes, body slumped, eyes not shining like they used to. And I don't miss the way he looks at me as if he doesn't believe I'm here. He was surprised I still care about Clara.

"How is she?" I ask.

"She's.." he close his eyes and run a hand through his hair. "Terrible. I was leaving and the next thing I know she's crying on the bathroom floor with a pool of blood surrounding her. We had an argument and she.. I can't believe I made her did that. She was right in fronf of my eyes, Avery."

I stand there in silence, intently watching him. "Why didn't you stop her?"

"I tried, Avery." He bents down and his eyes water.

I take both of us by surprise when I pull him to an embrace. I'm not trying to deny I miss him so badly. He looked like he was about to cry and I can't let that happen. Seeing him weak and vulnerable.. it just something I can't bear to see.

His body tense at first but soon after it relaxes and he bury his face on the crook of my neck. I feel warm around him. Putting my hands on his back as a calming gesture, it doesn't take long before he put his hands on my back either.

"She wants me to let go of you, Avery." He says and I froze. "And I can't. I can never do that."

In one quick motion I pull away from him and stare at him in a look of shock and disbelief. I'm on the verge of tears and if it wasn't because of the fact that I despise crying in front of people I'd surely cry my heart out right now.

I take steps away from him.

"Where is she?"

He reaches my hand.

"Avery, please. Hear me out."

"Where. Is. She?" I repeat, closing my eyes.

He let out an exasperated sigh and open the hospital's door with Room 307 written in it. My former best friend lays there helpless with IV and a couple things attached to her arms. Her face looks extremely pale and it seems like she's weak as a feather.