avery → h.s

thirty three

"Watch where you going, asśhole!"

"Whoa."

"Is it just me or I feel like we're in New York where people shouting at the road considered as normal?" Nate hit the pedal once more, making me sink back to the seat.

"Can you slow down?"

"No." He frown and grip the steering wheel harder. I notice this.

"Nate, are you okay?" I'm starting to worry. When I look at his eyes it doesn't radiate like they used to.

"Are you drunk?!"

He mutter a curse.

"Fuck, Nate we need to pull over!"

Without thinking further he pull over in the middle of the road and it makes the car behind us honking loudly. God only knows what's going to happen if the road is packed.

"Nate!" I shriek incredulously. "Not in the middle of the road!"

When we finally pull over beside the sidewalk, I turn to him and check his condition. His breath smells cigarette and alcohol it really stinks me.

"Where were you when I'm gone?" He doesn't know a thing about Clara trying to kill herself for all I know.

"At a bar."

"Why are you drinking and driving for god's sake, you could made both of us killed!" I was shouting like a mad woman now.

His head turns to me as he eyes me completely.

"Why did you kiss me?"

I stare at him and suddenly my brain does this stupid thing to not talk.

"I.. I didn't kiss you first."

"But you kiss me back," he bring his face closer to mine and I feel goosebumps rise on my skin. "Did you mean the kiss? Was I just a fling in your eyes?"

I blink a few times, trying to sink in his words.

"I don't know.. I.."

"How could you not know?!" He shouts and it's crystal clear that I made him angry. I was about to tell him about Clara when we reach my house but seeing him like this makes me afraid of him.

I lay back in my seat and close my eyes, trying to conquer my fearness. This is Nate we're talking about, he's that one human being who lives to cheer up everyone. I've never seen him angry to me before, so I'm still in the process on thinking what should I do.

"You still love Harry, don't you?"

Instinctively I freeze in my seat and bring my knees to my chest. This isn't going as I planned. I plan to get to my house and cry the life away but seeing we're in the middle of deserted road in Chicago I have to hold back every tears that threaten to escape.

"I don't know Nate," I bent my head down in shame. "I really don't know."

He sighs and punch the steering wheel, hard.

"Then why did you return my kiss if you love him?! For the love of god, if Ana or David didn't interrupt us earlier who knows what was going to happen."

"So that's it, then?" My eyes begin to water. "You just want me to get in your pants."

"What? It's not that, for fuck's sake!" He increase his volume and his face inch closer to mine. "Can you not see it, Avery? I like you. Ever since Harry move in to your house I got angry because of it. Messing with you is like my hobby now and every time we kissed, I feel something weird in my chest and even though I hate admitting that 'cause it's cheesy as fuck but it's the truth. And I'm being completely honest with you."