Mute.

[10] - emotions

[10] - emotions

how do you handle your emotions? how do you cope with them?

J.

childhood for justin wasn't necessarily the greatest. to be bluntly honest, it was terrible. he had no friends, and he barely had a father.

he couldn't remember the nice times he had, because his brain was overrun with the bad ones. . .
: :

just as he thought, season didn't text him back when the sun rose above the trees. his heart ached, his hands covered in sweat. in justin's mind, it was over. season had just came, and now she was gone.

like the others, the voice chuckled in the back of his scratchy throat. justin glared straight ahead, his arms pulling his knees closer to his chest. why must've justin been so eager to trust that girl? and in the end, she'd break him, like the others did.

it was still hard for justin to become broken again, even though it has happened his whole life. it's like he'd forget about it. . .until something came along, lifting him up, just to bring him crashing back down to earth. it was the cycle justin lived. day in, day out.

it never changed for justin, because it was all he knew. he didn't know the happiness other people felt. he'd only feel the depression that sulked on him everyday.

his life had gotten better when he'd met season, but now, everything had since went back to normal. . .

no happiness.
no love.
no joy.
no freedom.
just. . .the voice and his mother. . .
those were the one two things justin had. . .

justin glanced back to his phone, his eyes dull with absolutely no emotion. the only thing was the dark shade of brown that he'd been stuck with. a color that complemented season on ways you couldn't imagine.

her skin.
her eyes.
her lips.
her everything. . .

justin let out an inaudible sigh, his eyes leaving the phone. it pained him to even look at the thing. all justin wanted was a response. a response that would lift justin back up into the soft clouds. a response that would bring him joy. but, all he had was an unresponsive phone.

with his back to the headboard, justin closed his eyes. his eyes imagined season. and with his image, came a smile to his face. the smile lightened up his hard features, that would usually be creased and firm.

but, at the thought of season, a smile would pop up onto his face. thinking of season put justin in a more happy place. it was like a type of medicine that he'd take for being depressed. all he had to do what think, season.

her everything made justin feel better. his emotions would calm from being smothering, and they'd let justin live. the wall blocking all things would wobble inside him, making justin himself.

could this girl be what he needed?

too bad you'll never have her, the voice told justin, a shiver crawling up his spine. that fucking voice. why? he'd already been mute! so, god thought he needed a voice too!? he knew he'd be better without it.

justin, mentally, would be more successful if that voice didn't swim around his head, knocking justin down. it was like an internal bully that had followed justin when he was born. the voice haunted him since he had been a small boy.

parents would always tell their children to stay away from the bad kids, but how could pattie tell justin to stay away from something that would stick with him, mentally, for the rest of his life? like she even knew about this voice, which she didn't.