Never The Same [BTS]

January 26, 2014

"It's almost the end of school! (There's still one month and two days left.) I can't wait to get out of that school and just focus on Bangtan for once! School has been...difficult. It's strange seeing Miso with that Isaac guy all the time. He's friends with Daesul too, so whenever I see them walking somewhere, it's always Daesul, Issac, Miso with Issac's arm wrapped around her, and five other people. After school, it's them but also with Miso's friends. They're always a group of about ten leaving on the weekends.

It seems as if Miso has completely forgotten about us. If I see her in the hallways, she'll either pretend I'm not there or else she'll smile at her friends. It's as if we were never friends. We've really become distant. I never see her anymore—not in that sea of people, at least. I think six other people is my limit. But from this, I've noticed that I'm an introvert.

I don't mind being with large groups, but I prefer to stay kind of silent. I don't mind being alone, but sometimes I do get lonely. And now that Miso has permanently forgotten me, I feel more alone than ever. Especially at school.

But life is getting easier with my hyungs. I've made very good friends with the '95 line, V-hyung and Jimin-hyung. They're closest members to my age so it was easy to connect to them. I'm, of course, friends with my other hyungs, but I guess V-hyung and Jimin-hyung would be my best friends. I've probably mentioned that before.

Every weekend, Jimin-hyung would lead us in midnight practices, so I guess I know the most about Jimin for now. Hobi-hyung also joins us. He's easy to talk to. He likes to ask me questions and just likes to socialize. He has a bubbly personality. I'm pretty sure he could talk to anyone.

Anway, last weekend, we filmed our 'Boy in Luv' MV. It's our title track for 'Skool Luv Affair'. It was really fun filming. I got my hair dyed for the first time. It's a red color—my favorite. In fact, a lot of my hyungs changed their hair colors. V-hyung bleached his hair and dyed it a cool electric orange. Rap Mon-hyung dyed his a silver white. J-Hope-hyung, Jin-hyung, and Suga-hyung got a brunette shade. Jimin-hyung kept a solid black.

This was the first time I had ever dyed my hair. I liked the results. My hyungs liked it too. I really liked V-hyung's hair, but I wasn't there when they were doing it. The bleaching process took forever and that's before they even started dying his hair! I guess that's the price you pay for looking handsome, though.

We filmed in a classroom set. There was a hallway and even some lockers. It kind of reminded me of SOPA, but the color scheme was different. The girl who was casted kind of reminded me of Miso, but she was different. She was taller. I'm usually into taller girls anyway, but Miso's kind of an exception. I think she's about 159 or 160 centimeters. IU is short too anyway. Also, Miso has a prettier face, especially her eyes. She has a very natural western appearance. She's ideal.

There was a lot of action on set; from Rap Mon-hyung throwing chairs to jumping off of each other to nearly crashing into the camera. Shooting MV's an amazing experience. We get to travel to all of these cool places in Korea that I didn't know existed. Also, we get to try out new looks and experiment with our hair.

So, last week was the first week I went to school with my red hair. Holy shit. People reacted so much more than I expected. The girls freaked out. Some of the guys at school copied me and also dyed their hair red.

But Daesul and his entourage kept their hair a deep raven color. Isaac even dyed his hair a black shade. And Miso-noona's bright red hair was beginning to fade away. Then she came back the next day with black hair just like her friends. I wish I could ask her why. It's none of my business, but I just want to know.

I wish I could be her boyfriend...and not Isaac Young. I saw them together sitting in the same place Miso and I used to sit at. They were cuddling and hugging like usual. I had gotten used to that. But then I saw them kiss. I was just walking toward the art studio when I saw them.

And that wasn't the worst part.

I must've been standing there for a long time, looking out at them in the courtyard. I was caught staring. No one else was with me in the hallway, so it was obvious. It scared me, so I left. But after I turned the corner, I started to run.

I won't even mention what happened after that.

But Saturday soon came and we were rehearsing, as usual. Just perfecting our 'Boy in Luv' dance with vocals. We took breaks every now and then to write more songs or to just relax. I continued to practice with Hobi-hyung and Jimin-hyung after the others left. It was 1 AM when they left. They thought I left with them though. Well, something came up. And it was from Miso-noona.

1/26/14 1:07 AM

Hey.

'Hey'? What the hell does that mean? And why did she want to text me? I didn't even bother to say anything back. I just ignored her. Besides, I was upset and I didn't want to make it seem as if I was mad at her for being happy with Isaac.

So I didn't return to the dorms with Hobi-hyung or Jimin-hyung. I didn't go practice the choreography or anything, I just went into the studio where we usually record and worked on my own songs. So, that—," Jin read.

But they were interrupted by a small noise. Eyes searched around the cafe and then Jin suddenly started talking again. Talking on his phone. Everyone exchanged looks as they eavesdropped on the conversation.

"What is it?" he asked.
"It's gone."

Jin hesitated and kept silent for a long time. He looked between Isaac and his dongsaengs as they meticulously watched him.

"What do you mean?" he slowly said.
"I mean, I don't know where it is! I thought it was in my room, but...it's not..."
"So...it's missing?"
"I guess so; I've looked everywhere and still haven't found it..."

Everyone could hear the worry in Jin's voice. They began to whisper to each other as Jin dealt with Rap Monster's response. Suddenly, Isaac stood up and left the table. He said nothing and kept a dull, vacant look on his face. Jin watched as Isaac left to go to the bathroom.

"Did you check Jungkook's room?" Jin thought.
"Yeah, I did. It's not there! I can clearly remember what it looked like too! This really bothers me..."

Jin remained silent on the other end. Rap Monster looked around the dorms as he looked into all of their rooms. Nothing. It was no where to be found. There was no place for Jungkook to hide it either. Their dorm wasn't that big, so all of the members know every little nook and cranny.

"Well...I guess you should just come back. There's not much going on in Jungkook's 2014. Just...bullying, heartbreak, and admirable determination," Jin said. "Miso tried to text him on January 26th, or some day near then. He just ignored her, so I guess they're permanently broken up."
"Oh, okay...I guess I'll start making my way back there."
"Alright, see you—"
"Wait, you know it's 14:30, right?"
"Really? Well, it looks like Isaac will be leaving soon."
"I don't think I'll be back in time. The traffic on the subway stations and road is just awful around now."
"Okay. Then maybe we'll meet back at the hospital."
"Sounds good."

Jin slammed his phone down on the table and then ran his hands through his hair before being embraced by J-Hope.

"What happened?" J-Hope asked.
"Namjoon can't find the journal," Jin said. "He looked everywhere and he couldn't find it!"
"Did someone take it?" Jimin asked.
"No. The only ones who we know who knew about the journal were him and Jungkook! It has to be somewhere nearby."

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Unknown Caller — Friday, September 31, 2016