Never The Same [BTS]

Why Me?

How come it was always me that was chosen? There were so many others that could've been chosen. I'm nothing like his ideal type. But he still wanted me.

And I murdered him.

If I could turn back time and change everything that I did within the last three years, I would. And ever since I left, I've hated myself more than they could ever imagine. It's a struggle to get up in the morning and have to drive to work and to have my friend and co-worker tell me:

"You look beautiful today"

or

"You're so sweet"

in the exact tone and voice as his voice. Even though I know that Brett is just acting, it feels so real. And now that I've hit this point in my career, I guess I'm going to have to live with this guilt for the rest of my life.

Then there's that one piece of him that I took with me. Well, two pieces, I guess. But physically, only one. Why he gave it to me? I don't know. And why I still have it? I still don't know. But all I know is that it hurts whenever I read it. They're just a bunch of mixed up words on paper and I'm one of the only ones who can read it.

But why me?

But every day, I can't help but think of him. Every time I see red I think of him. And I do think of him, my heart gets lighter, my breathing becomes faster, and my lips curl up into a smile. From that point on, I can't stop smiling and I can't stop feeling good.

And then I remember I still love him.