“Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.” —unknown
Sometimes relationships can’t be fixed. That is when it’s better to move on. Sad, but very often true.
“Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.” —unknown
Only when you are able to completely detach yourself, can you be free. After a break up, and elsewhere in life. Be a leaf floating in a river, not knowing where it might take you.
These quotes made me realize a lot of things. One is that, not all relationships have a happy ending. Most often, dumarating lang 'yan para ma-experience mo yun feeling na may "better half" ka, then ipapa-realize sayo ni Lord na hindi kayo para sa isa't isa. Then eventually, things will get better after a heartbreaking scenario.
It has been almost a year ever since naging close kami ni Fort and almost 8 months naman kami together (starting from the M.U. stage). Wala naman akong pinagsisisihan sa mga nangyare sa buhay ko, eh.
He was one of the biggest blessings I've ever had! Napakabait nyang tao and I admit na wala na akong mahahanap na tulad niya. Proud din ako syempre na naging boyfriend ko siya kasi napaka-talented nya :) O diba? Nothing to be regretful of! He's a beautiful person inside and out. That's why nahirapan din naman akong i-let go siya, pero ginawa ko yun dahil kailangan.
It was the 12th day of July 2013, when I decided to finally end our relationship dahil nga marami na kaming nagiging problema at palagi na kaming nag-aaway. Selos, oras, misunderstandings, Twitter, Facebook, date/hangout... yan ang madalas na mga dahilan kung bakit kami nag-aaway. Eh parehas din naman kaming ayaw magpatalo kaya ayun, walang nangyayare. Kailangan pa kaming batukan ng mga kaibigan namin bago magbati ulit.
Syempre, nakakapagod din pag paulit ulit na. Tsaka, kailangan nya na ding mag-focus sa career niya without me. I'm sure naman na mas magiging okay sya ng ganun. Yun nga lang, hindi padin formal yung paghihiwalay namin. Kumbaga, walang closure. Kaya siguro masakit pa din, khit papano.
There are still times when I just cry myself to sleep knowing na break na kami. Na, wala na talaga. Syempre, babae ako. Emosyonal masyado. Ang sakit kahit alam kong mas makakabuti yung naging desisyon namin. Ang sakit kasi, mahal ko padin siya.
July 21st, laban ng UST and FEU.
Kasama kong nanood si Yannie ng game. Unfortunately, natalo yung Tigers. :( Anyways, di naman yun yung point haha. Di ko akalain na sa araw na yun eh makikita ko ulit si Fort.
Kaka-start lang ng 3rd Quarter nun, tapos nagpaalam ako kay Yannie na magsi-CR ako. Ayoko kasi talagang sumasabay sa madami pag halftime eh. After ko mag-freshen up, i decided to go to Starbucks to buy something to eat or drink. Then habang nsa pila ako, naamoy ko yung pabango ni Fort. Nagtataka ako kung bat ko naaamoy yun, so inisip ko na baka naman naghahallucinate lang ako or tlagang namimiss ko lang siya , kaya i focused myself on the menu na ulit to choose something. Nung paglingon ko sa nasa harapan ko, shet, nagulat ako.
Si Fortuna pala yung kasunod ko sa pila. Okay. Bakit naman ganun diba.
"Wag kang lilingon. pls. wag mo sana akong makilala jusko, Lord, help me, di ko pa sya kayang kausapin." ----- yan nalang yung nasasabi ko sa utak ko. Kaso, wala pading effect kasi paglingon ni Jeric sakin e nginitian nya ko. Nagulat din sya, eh. Then hinintay nya ko hanggang sa makuha ko yung inorder ko.
"Hi," sabi niya with matching awkward (but still cute hehe) smile.
"Hello." sabi ko naman. Lol, di ko kasi talaga sya kayang kausapin pa, okayy :(((
"Can we talk? Kahit dyan lang sa labas. Wala namang tao." tanong niya.
"Sure." then lumabas kami ng starbucks tapos nag-usap na kami.
"Jes, I'm sorry. Sorry kung naging sobrang demanding ako. Sorry kung nagkulang ako, naging selfish, tsaka masyadong possessive. Ayoko lang naman talagang mawala ka sakin, eh. Pero I understand naman your point when you decided to end our relationship kaya pumayag na din ako. Narealize ko na parehas naman tayong magbebenefit dun. I love you so much, Jessy. Kaya kahit masakit, i'm letting you go now. As a girlfriend, ha. Pero we still have to be bestfriends :) I don't want to lose you in any other way, Jessy. Kahit friends man lang, please?" ang haba ng sinabi niya no? Pero....kinilig at natouched ako :)
"Napakaselfish ko naman kung di ko tatanggapin yang offer mo, diba? Hehe. Tsaka i'm more than willing to be your friend again. At least, kahit hindi na tayo, close padin tayo. You know that I love you so much, too, Je. And i'm letting you go as a boyfriend, as well. So, bestfriends? :)" then i extended my hand to him
He then grabbed my hand and said, "Best friends! Forever. :) I'm glad we're okay na ulit, Jes. Masaya na ko kasi andyan ka padin. Basta kapag sinaktan ka ng future boyfriend mo, tandaan mong andito lang kami ng Tigers para rumesbak. Haha!" :">
"Thank you, Jeric! Sure! Pag inaway ka din ng future girlfriend mo, sasabunutan ko yun. Ako lang pwedeng umaway sayo, no! hahaha, joke lang, Fortuna :P Tara, pasok na tayo sa loob at baka tapos na yung game haha" sabi ko naman.
I held onto his waist and inakbayan nya ko then pumasok na ulit kami sa loob. Eh ano naman kung makita kami ng iba na ganun? We're okay na with each other, and that's what matters to me. Ayoko din namang mawala yun no :)
Pagbalik ko sa upuan ko, napansin ni Yannie na masaya na ko.
"Ngiting-ngiti, friend ah!" sabi nya.
"Ganun talaga. Hahaha" then lumingon ako sa likod to see Jeric from afar and we both smiled at each other. Nakita din ni Yannie yun.
"Kaya naman pala masaya ka na. :P So, what happened?"
"Formal closure! Finally. Hehe. And we opted to stay as bestfriends!:)"
"Awww, that's so cute! At least, cool padin kayo after mag-break. Happy na ang lahat, yeheyy! ♥"
Unfortunately, UST lost to FEU that day. Huhu, sayang. Pero okay lang. Chill hahaa may second round pa!
Paglabas ng dugout, nakangiti sa akin yung mga Tigers. Mukhang naikwento na ni Jeric sa kanila sa loob yung nangyare haha!
"We're happy for you, guys. It was the best thing to do :)" sabi ni Teng.
"Masaya na ulit sila yeheeess!" biro naman ni Aljon
"Kaya manlilibre na si Fort nyan, diba bro??" sbi naman ni Tata haha
"Kung makapang-ano naman kayo dyan e parang kaka-On lang namin ah:))" sabi namin ni Jeric. Nagagawa na naming biro yung bagay na sobrang masakit nung isang araw. Yung break-up! haha.
After nun, we had our dinner together somewhere in Morato. Treat nila kahit na natalo sila hahaa :P
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