Hey guys. Sorry about that whole thing with undertale. Totally not obsessed now l o l
Anyway.
So today I had to go out and apply for jobs. Aka, why not just dump five panic attacks on me because you can lololololol
On the way to the first one I started crying and trying to express to my dad why I was so nervous. Of course, he made it worse by trying to explain to me how it 'isn't a big deal' and all that jazz, because in the end it's not gonna be the job I have for the rest of my life etc etc. Didn't help me, I just became more frustrated and nervous about it, and had a hard time tiring to breathe.
I went to six or seven different places, and my voice shook each and every time. It got better as I went along, but it was just not good.
Then on the two online applications I had to do (btw, online applications are way scarier than paper applications), both asked me my gender. These were the choices.
-Male
-Female
-I prefer not to answerAnd I had to select female.
Female female female female female.
First of all, female isn't a gender it's a sex...
Second of all, wow dysphoric slap to the face. I even did my hair today and I looked masculine but the word female is crawling up my skin and making me nauseous.
Anyway, me with my hair did.
Ronnie I love your blooky.G out. (do I even have a gender? please someone file a missing report for mine it's gone for some reason. maybe it quit it's job as my gender but idk. anyone?)
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of a Struggling Genderfluid: 2
AléatoireIt's here for me to rant and you to learn again. A continuation of my previous journal, which just had too many chapters.