Charming Hearts

Chapter 5: Left Me Disappointed

Song: If I'm Lucky by State Champs

-Liv-

I felt better when I woke up and Dawson was next to me. He was curled on his side facing away from me, but his warmth was still there. It made me want to revel in the moment instead of getting out of bed to get ready for school.

My parent's are surprisingly lenient when it came to having an eighteen-year-old boy in my bed. Nineteen in March. They both knew that we wouldn't do anything anyway. Usually when Dawson sneaks into my bed, it's in the middle of the night because he can't sleep. My dad knows that. He realizes we've been friends for so long and if something was going to happen, it would've by now.

I'm not saying I'd object to be honest. I'm only open with my feelings towards myself. There's no denying that I feel something towards Dawson. But I feel like a kid next to him. He's more preserved and he's matured way more than I have. He's not my goofy best friend anymore. He's older now and he's grown out of it I guess. I wasn't ready to let him go, but if it would make him happier, I'd try.

But he's in my bed.

These feelings for Dawson are only months old, not years. I've looked at Dawson as more of a brother, but not anymore. Definitely not now. Sometimes I wish I did, but other times I'm too happy with the feeling that fills my chest and swells my heart.

Dawson still wants to be my friend after what I did yesterday. I knew better and I mentioned it anyway because yes, I think about that night more often than I should. Maybe I was hoping he did too. It was wrong of me. Selfish to put my feelings before his. Dawson's feelings should come first and I need to think before I speak.

One thing I did know is that I didn't want to get out of this bed.

My party's tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I think I'm a little old to have birthday party's thrown by my mom. I'm sure Jude wouldn't protest either. But I'll be on my best behavior if it'll make my mother happy.

Dawson started to stir beside me and I pushed myself up into a sitting position. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my palms.

"Why are mornings a thing?" Dawson asked from beside me. His question was muffled by the pillow his face was in.

I snorted. "Good question, but it is Friday. That has to be a plus, right?"

"For you, yes. I don't have class today."

"Well you don't have to rub it in," I teased.

Dawson chuckled lightly. "You have school and I don't."

"I warned you, Daws."

"You better get ready for school, Livy. You'll be late."

My fingers dug into his sides and I started to tickle him. He kind of just curled in on himself and choked on a laugh. "I'm not so ticklish there anymore."

"Lies," I said and moved my hand over his waist to tickle his stomach.

He started laughing and it made me smile.

"I guess you forget I'm your best friend and I know all your weak spots," I whispered in his ear.

"Um, what are you doing?" It was my dad's voice.

I stopped tickling Dawson and turned my head to see my dad standing in the doorway. He had his head tilted to the side and a raised eyebrow. "Uh, nothing," I said sheepishly.