Chapter 2: Next day
"Everybody come here. It's medicine time." nurse Aisha shouted by standing on the mid of the hall.
" Zeemah"
" yes. I am coming."
Aisha sister called me for medicine. It was my turn.
I took medicine and came back to my room. And I read Quran and prayed to Allah. Then I went to my bed and tried to sleep. But I couldn't. The whole things that happened today was revolving around my mind.
Why that girl asked me such questions? And what if I had answered also? Will they have believed?
Of course not! Who believes in mentally ill people words?
Now that whole conversation is running through my mind. I am going mad now.
It's funny to say mad to someone who is already mad. But believe me.,I am not mad. I am hurt, there's a difference.
*******((("Hello mam! I am Buvana and she is Vasanthi. We are from SB College of nursing. Can we have a conversation with you please?"
"Yes sure. Why not?"
"Thank you. What's your good name?"
"Zeemah.... Zeemah Khan"
"That's so sweet name."
They both smiled at me.
"Thank you."
I smiled back.
"What's your age?"
"I am 29 now."
"Are you married? "
" "No I am not. "
" Miss Zeemah"
"Yes"
"Do you know what's your condition? I mean why you are here in hospital? Actually what has happened to you? "
Buvana asked to me.
" Yes Buvana. I have paranoid schizophrenia. I am here since last 6 years. "
They looked at each other so surprisingly as if I have revealed something big secret.
" Okay. Then do you see anything else or hear any voices?"
"No. I don't. I just feel one demon coming inside my body and attacks my heart and makes me so breathless"
I started to feel so stressed. I was sweating by even remembering that demon.
"okay then can you tell us that how you got paranoid schizophrenia? Do you remember anything of your past?"
"I don't know. Don't talk to me."
I don't know why I got so much of anger. I stood up from there and went straight to my room.))) *******
Yes! Why people ask such questions?If I say something then I know that they won't believe. Then why?
I don't remember my past.?is it possible? My past is the reason why I am here now. Then how could I forget? Life here feels like Worst Than Death.
I am trying to sleep now. But I couldn't. I got up and went near the window. It was full moon night. I can see everything clearly like day time. I want to go out and feel the fresh air.
I went and asked to Aisha Mam that I wanted to go outside for sometime.
She smiled and said, you can go but please come early. Don't stay for long time.
"Thank you Mam."
I walked near to the garden and sat under the tree. Fresh air blowed and touched my cheeks. I looked up in the sky.
"Sparkling stars and in the full moon night.
The broken dreams and your memories with me.
Oceans of tears in eyes and
Closed lips with thousands of words
Left to utter.
Under the alone and dry tree down which becomes green just merely.
Carving your name in the white bright beautiful stone over there.
Your presence exists far away to thousand miles.
And.,
Thought of you in my mind brought a smile.,
But, again with a heavy teary eyes!! "
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(" SCHIZOPHRENIA is a psychotic condition characterized by a disturbance in thinking, emotions, volitions and faculties in the presence of clear consciousness, which usually leads to social withdrawal. ")
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