Somebody knocked the door.
"Madam".,one man called me.
I stood up, acted like I was disturbed because of him. I looked at him. He was holding a glass of juice in his hand.
"Yes" I replied.
He entered in room and kept glass in the table, smiled and went.
Thank God! He went. I drank juice and took out the diary and started to read again.
March 20.,
Sumiti came to my house. She was little mad today. I was watching TV. She sat beside to me. She rested her head in my shoulder and said
"I LOVE YOU DEV. please don't ignore me."
I don't know what happened to her today. I had already told her not to speak about this. But still today she did.
I couldn't reply anything. I was afraid that my words may hurt her and I know how it feels to be hurted and of course to be ignored too.
I am sorry Sumiti. I can't love you back. My heart only belongs to Zeemah. You are a pretty girl.. You deserve more.
"A broken man like me doesn't deserve you."
Sumiti.,
How could you love me
When I am a cluster of stars
And you are
A thousand galaxies.
Truely., you deserve more!!
Yes.,
I have been in love with someone that didn't love me back and I have been loved by someone that I didn't love back.
I don't know which is worse., to be broken or to break another soul.
April 10
Got study holiday for exam. Now I won't see you for 10 days. I will miss you.
Every moment., I wait just to see you.,
I wake up every night missing you.
Something has changed these days.
I wish that moment will never born.,
The moment I don't see you..
If it is so then I wish to die.
Again this time also., you bet that you will get 1st rank. Of course my girl., you will.!!
If I had will then.,
I would have taken you to the EVEREST...,,
Staying back!!
May 1..,
My Dad got accident today. I along with my friends Nilesh, and kishor stayed in hospital . We didn't go to the college.
I thought of you. I missed you.
I wondered if you missed me too. But again I wondered., why am still wondering..
May 2..
Dad forced me to go the college. As he was little well today., I went to the college leaving him with Mom and Ankita.
I entered to the class. She was looking at left side of her seat. I don't know what she was looking. Suddenly she looked at me., I gave a smile., but she looked away.
Those brown eyes don't look into mine., kills me while knowing this.
You act like I don't exist.,
And It makes me wish I didn't.
May 3.,
May be Sumiti was fed up by seeing my one sided love and my longing for Zee everyday and also my ignorance to her.
She came to me., smiled and said.,
" Your current situation is not your final destination Dev."
Dev.,
Never let the person that hurt you
Make you miss out on
Someone that wants to love you.
But what can I do? My heart is only reponsible for my pain, hurts and heart breaking.
May 4..
Yes., she was hurted today. Her grandma passed away. Her tears were falling and with each fall of tear., my heart was slowing it's beat.
I am sorry.
May 7..,
Today was the...
Again I heard somebody's foot step coming towards this room.
Damn it!! March 7 was the day when I hurted him most. I wanted t to read this. (but I couldn't ) I slammed the diary and kept it under the pillow.
I swiped off my eyes and face and I pretended to sleep again.
It was Dev this time.
"zee" he called me.
I didn't answer.
"hey wake up. Are you feeling better now? "he asked.
I got up., and looked at him. I felt like to run towards him and hug. But I couldn't. My tears filled up by remembering every words of his diary.
" what happened? Are you still in pain? "he asked me.
Yes I am. But I know now that my pain is nothing in front of yours.
" hey "he came nearer to me and sat beside me and asked" what happened? "
I hugged him. But there was no response from him. His hands remained still. Why?
I was about to say something. But his phone rang.
He took out my hands from his neck, stood up., went little front., and received the call. He hanged up the call without speaking anything. He turned back to me.
"Zee"
"huh "
" I am sorry. I need to go somewhere right now. My driver will take you to your home. Okay. "
" But Dev... "
Dev didn't listen. He again came nearer to me., leaned forward and kissed in my forehead. (I closed my eyes.)and said" take care "And went out.
I was so confused. I didn't get chance to say anything.
Then Dev's driver dropped me to my house. In the way., each and every words of his dairy was revolving around my mind. I was feeling so sorry. I was even hurted with his words which I only had made him to write.... And for which I was responsible.
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