November 7,2009
Life doesn't make sense any more!
I had come in the hope of seeing Dev with me but he gave such a surprise that I am not able to believe it till now . Not being with me was all okay but the thing is he left me. And it kills me every seconds, minutes, hour and day.
And I am wondered, how silent and happy Zeemah turned to the violent and most miserable person within a moment.
I was sitting in the terrace , thinking about Dev and our old memories and wondering that how the story of my life changed so suddenly within a day. That was the only thing left for me to do now.
Life becomes Worst Than Death when the only person you can think of belongs to someone else.
"Zeemah"
Somebody called from downstairs.
"I am here"
I replied .
"why are you sitting here?"
It was Nebika. There were two cup of coffee in her hand.
She handed me one.
"Take this"
"How are you?"I asked.
"I am fine. But what are you up to? Look at yourself."
She said.
I didn't reply.
"Zee, let it be naa. Whatever happened, it's already happened. We can't do anything now. Aunty said that you don't talk, eat or go anywhere. Zee, for how long you will stay like this huh?"
"Nebi please stop. I don't have mood to talk anything about it right now "
I replied annoyingly.
" No,zeema you have to talk and start your life again. See, that Dev is already settled with Sumiti and they are going Bangkok tomorrow. He wants you to move on. Then why you you are still in same Condition."
"He wants me to forget him and move on but how? How can he and even you all say me to act like nothing has happened.I love him and he too had loved me. That's the fact that I can't forget."I said and looked away.,eyes filled with tears and couple of them trickled too.
She hugged me tightly.
"I am sorry Zee. But you can't live like this always. I know it takes time but you have to at least try."
"And you know People going away from your life is always a blessing "
"No it's not. If it was a blessing than I would have felt good but I am not."
I don't know why but I replied angrily.
"Zee. I know how you are feeling now. I am saying all this because I can't see you in pain like this. And your family also wants old Zeemah back. Think about that "
She said.
Why no one is understanding me? Why they don't understand that it's not easy to forget everything so soon. They said that I should be back to my normal life forgetting these pain and sorrows., but they don't understand that although Dev is the reason for all this,. He is the only one who can chase away all these pain and return smile to my lips.
I have called Dev several times in these days but the only response I get is his text of apology and some words to plead me.
I know he had no option other than accepting Sumiti. But still, I wonder how early he has adjusted and also is able to say me to be practical and move on. Has he already moved on? Or didn't he love me like I did to him as he is not in pain like I am .
It really hurts to know and realize that people you thought you'd love for your whole life don't love you as much as you thought they did! And can live without you as if they never knew you at all., I am still wondering., do all men has ability to move on so fast and act like nothing was happened ? Or only we women are the one who waste our precious mascara in their absence!
