Moments || Book Two

Chapter 4

*DAKOTA'S POV*

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

On and on I read the dreadful sentence over, and over again. I clutched the hard covered copy of one of the most loved books on the planet, ready to throw it across the room because of those 8 damn meaningful words.

The topic confused me actually, your own self esteem is the most valuable thing you own. Too often people fall into relationships that are volatile and remain in them for as long as they think they can't do better. But underneath it all, they "can't do better" because they don't think they're worthy of greater things. If you think highly of yourself, you wouldn't let anybody walk all over you, right? So in love, if you know you're the equivalent of rainbows and unicorns, you should really only be with someone who also thinks you're amazing and treats you so.

Oh, and I assume that person will be top-notch-awesome themselves, because you wouldn't settle for anything less. I mean it's just a matter of respect and reciprocation.

See in Niall and I's relationship, I never believed I deserved his love. Not once. Still to this day I don't exactly believe we had a strong relationship. Sure, we told each other everything but I always felt like I was holding him back from living the life he dreamt of.

I sighed, putting the book down and rubbing my temples, a head ache forming from the ongoing thinking about the same sentence I left off from just a night before.

I got up and decided on getting some Advil for the mild sore forming above my eyes. After making my way down the steps, I opened the medicine cabinet in the kitchen and took out the pill box.

I gulped down the 2 pills with some water and advanced back over to the stairs, before something caught my eye. My stomach just about dropped as I picked up the envelope with my fingertips.

He wrote me back.

Before I knew it, I was in my bedroom struggling to open the envelope with the wooden letter opener.

Finally I eventually ripped the flap open and saw Niall's messy handwriting fill the page.

"Dakota❤

I don't exactly know how to describe the feeling I had when I read your letter. First of all, I would like to start off by saying,

I miss you. A lot.

The lads have been complaining that I haven't been myself since you suddenly left, I've even began to notice it. I don't want you to forget about me without knowing just how much I love you. For months, even years I chased you, to find your love. Then I was blessed with a chance, it was a weird start but soon we made it work. I was naturally happy every second I spent with you. It's hard seeing you go, I never stopped loving you..never will for that matter. I pray that one day you will come back, I'm going crazy without you.

Knowing I basically ruined your life with my fame just kills me inside.

I know it's my fault that you left.

But I also know you wouldn't really want to talk about it, you just need someone to listen.

And I'm ready to listen.

Please, anything you need help with. Write me back, I care Dakota.

We always care for the ones whom we fall for.

Love always,

Nialler"

Taking a shaky breath, I moved the paper over to the other side of my desk and I leaned back into the chair. Slow deep breaths steadied my tears, and I finally came to the conclusion on why I was crying.