Adopted by Cameron Dallas.

89. Hatred

Addison

Magcon was soon over and I got to go back home where dad will just favorite Kate  and CJ and I will be there sitting waiting for him to pay attention to me but he never will.

I wonder why he treats me so much differently then he does to CJ and Kate.

CJ is barely 2 years older than me and Kate isn't that much younger I don't understand I am his child so I should be treated the best yet I'm treated the worst.

I'll never acknowledge this to him though if I were to tell him he just saying being spoiled or I'm being conceited. But it's not like that I just want to know why he treats me that way like what makes him so angry at me for the littlest things.

Every day I wonder if you me and him will get in some type of argument and end up getting mad at each other for a long period of time. Usually up to two or three weeks not even that long maybe a week and a half or three days till I end up apologizing or forgiving him. It's like I'm in a relationship with him like boyfriend and girlfriend except he's my dad and has an attitude like a pissed off girl at all times. I thought I was the one on my period.

I wish that one day let me do anything I wanted to and be fine with it.

But everyone knows that it will never happen

I walked upstairs and saw dad with Sage. They were together watching some dumb movie. I walk past them and act like they didn't like this and it been that way for about a week now. I don't know if I messed up that's business or something but he's really mad but I am too. He acts like he's the only one who can have feelings and I'm the only one who can't hurt them.

But I didn't hurt them. I don't think I did. It's not that big of a deal I mean all I did was say fuck you to this boy who doesn't even matter, he's not even a part of Magcon, and I heard he has a girlfriend so why call me a cutie and stuff.

I have also said fuck you to Emily before and he was right there.no he just looked at me and laughed. And now when I see you to this boy who doesn't even matter it's a big deal.

I heard sage call my name but I kind of just ignored her. I didn't really want to talk to any of them right now while I don't actually. He can hang out with her all he wants give her all his attention well not all of it give her 50% attention and give CJ 40 and me 10 and let's just add another 600 for Kate.

Cameron

Addison is being really rude towards me and Sage recently. I know she's  mad for what I said at magcon a while ago but really it's not that serious. I don't know why I get so mad at her I just do. When she does something wrong or something that she knows isn't right I just imagine something that's unexplainable.

It's like someone teleports me back to that moment where Cassie's dad pulled out the gun and shot her. Every time she does something wrong I just remember that moment. And even though Addie is probably the best thing that happened to me I still get mad at her because I think that she's the reason Cassie dead when she does something wrong. I know she's not the reason but my brain just get so angry when she does something wrong that it thinks she's the reason and all my anger that has ever been built up in me gets taken out on her.

I don't know if people would really understandbut basically every time Addison does something wrong my mind thinks what if she wasn't here then I'd have Emily and I wouldn't have any rude teenagers doing things that aren't right all the damn time. I think that I don't get Addison the respect she deserves but she doesn't give it to me either.

I'm not very good at hiding my emotions, I think I will let it out on her the most. Every time I see her nose twitch or her eyes turn a hazel brown just reminds me of Cassie when she gets mad, she looks at me as if she wants to stab me. It was the same look her dad gave me good night he shot Cassie. It's like she have a little bit of me a little bit of my mom a little bit of Cassie and a little bit of Cassie's dad.

But that angry look she gives me when she's upset is the piece your image of Cassie's dad. It was not even a disappointed look it was a pure hatred look that nobody wanted to feel.

I wanted him to like me. I wanted him to get Cassie gifts for a baby shower , a late one after she was born. I hope to have anymore children with Cassie. I wanted him to be another role model beside myself. But now I have left is Addison and every time she's angry all he sees him he let me down. But I let him down to. I got his beloved daughter pregnant and she was so young. But then again he was doing other stuff to her behind closed doors he was always wrong. I just didn't see it.

I twiddled with my thumbs and hoped that one day I would erase that old bastard out of my head. One day his visual appearance will be wiped off of Addison's face.

But for now I have to look at her eventing she's mad at me and I have to see him and I have to replay her death. And I have to regret her existence. I have to regret every single thing I have ever don't to Cassie every single thing I have done to Addison and every last thing I have done to my mom.

When Addison and I get in arguments I see him in her eyes the man that ruined my life.