The paramedics ran to the lifts and shouted to the emergency desk that I was going into surgery and to get a trauma team on hold for after the surgery. During surgery I sat down and watched as they poked and prodded me with different tools blood was the main thing you could see in the room, but all I could think of was how my day changed from failing my exams, to being in surgery for attempted suicide. Soon the surgery was over and I was moved to the ICU unit, the nurses were asked to look at my profile to see if I had any emergency contacts, friends or family to contact, one of the nurses let out a little sigh and said " no wonder she wanted it all to end, her mum died when she was 7 and her dad disappeared on her around the same time, she was looked after by several different aunts and uncles but they threw her out as soon as she turned 16 and there's no contact details for any of them" she finished. A group was sent to check my clothes for my phone to see if there was any one on there that would care about what happened to me, they found Jakes number and called it from the hospital phone, it rung out and I assumed Jake was looking at his phone and wondering why an unknown number was calling. The hospital continued calling until he picked up and said in a nervous voice "who is this?" the nurse that had sighed replied with a " do you know London hill, the line went silent for about a minute as I assumed a feeling of dread washed over Jake soon he replied with a " yes, what's wrong", the nurse spoke calmly but as she heard the worry in his voice her eyes began to tear " London has been admitted to the hospital due to attempted suicide" I heard an inhale as she continued " London has 6 broken ribs, liver damage, potential brain damage and is in a comotised state". I heard a loud yell from Jake to his parents and then I heard 3 people sobbing "will she be ok" he sounded almost desperate "we won't know until she wakes up... if she wakes up that is". I heard Jake hang up angrily, this wasn't meant to happen.
"Sometimes when we think we're giving people relief were really just giving them more pain to distract them from the thing that upset them in the first place, and once you know that they're free to get whatever relief they need don't try and find it for them" one of the nurses whispered in my ear. After that all the nurses left apart from the one who was on patrol in the ICU, I had no idea what was happening, was I dead I couldn't be otherwise they would've put me in the morgue, I had sat there for an hour since the nurse had called Jake, he wasn't coming anytime soon so I decided to go for a walk, I noticed several different things on my walk that didn't surprise me but should've of 1. No one could see me, 2. I couldn't feel anything, 3.no one could hear me and 4. The bullies were in the hospital and they actually looked upset about what had happened. Part of my sub conscious wanted to feel sympathy for them, but I said no as I remembered all the mean things they had done to me in my past ,after all they were the true reason I gave everything and everyone up that I cared about. Soon I spotted Jake running into the hospital through a hospital window; I sprinted to the front hospital doors and got there just in time to see him run to the front desk and ask for me "London Hill" he said "she's in the ICU which means only family members can see her right now, are you part of her family?" "She doesn't have any family, and the people who do count as her family are already here standing in front of you, just let me see her I need to know that's she's ok".
He kept on begging and wouldn't give up until he spotted the bullies with tears in their eyes, that's when all the real trouble started, first he went up to the supposed leader and yelled at her "are you happy, you finally got your wish, she gave up, the person I loved the most in the world other than my family, gave up. Then he went over to the others and explained all the reason why I shouldn't be in the hospital and then all the mean and bad things they had done to me that in the end landed me in the hospital; "you broke her leg, when she came in to the hospital her knees were showing flesh and bone yet all she did was hide them she didn't tell anyone, not that she had anyone to tell but still, you guys have bullied her for the last 9 years of her life". "She deserves a break for fucks sake she doesn't deserve all the shit you've given her, how would you feel if you were scared to go to school, that the people who had originally treated you as family treated you like you had gone out of fashion like you were just another addition or accessory that they no longer wanted". "I admit I love her and I was going to tell her when I got back from my trip so that whatever crap she dealt with while I was gone was magically fixed, I loved her, I love her" his voice cracked and I started to cry. He loved me after everything I fought so hard for, for him he finally loved me, and then I went right ahead and tried to kill myself thinking it was best for him, who the fuck was I thinking I would fool, I ran I didn't stop running. I stopped running as I saw tears streaming down jakes face as well what happens if I die I did this to protect him not hurt him.
I couldn't bear to look at him anymore and I needed to go check on myself, I stopped in the hallway outside of my room, as a nurse was checking my monitors looking almost frustrated that I wasn't fighting any harder, I screamed at her, "I have no one left to fight for, my mum died years ago, my dad disappeared on me, the kids at school hate me and I did this to help Jake". She started talking to me calmly as if she had heard my scream, "I know it's hard to keep fighting when you feel like you've lost everyone but that's the thing you haven't there are people in that waiting room for you whether there are two or five or even fifty there are still people in there for YOU, out for me or for the person next to you but for you and I'm not giving you the so called easy way out". Once she finished talking I went in and sat down next to myself I didn't want to do it anymore, I didn't want to have to love in my old house that reminded me of my past every day, I didn't want to be scared to go school, I dint want to cry myself to sleep and I didn't want to hurt Jake anymore then I already had. Sometimes it's better to be alone, to be away from all the sadness from all the pain, the hurt that you and others have caused, the world around you that has turned from light and jokey to dark and sickened with the madness we all produce.
ppja
YOU ARE READING
Heartbeats
RomanceHeartbeats, they don't necessarily stop but they will slow down. A dangerous boy saving a broken girl but what if not is all as it seems... what if its a dangerous girl saving a broken boy. When the anxiety creeps in and there connection grows. Will...
