Niall’s POV
I woke up early to an empty bed. I wasn’t surprised. Unless she was drunk we never really spent the night together. Not for a long time that is. Who knows what time of the night she snuck out of bed. Lauren has serious trust and commitment issues. I guess I play a large role in that. She was young when we got “involved.” Our first night together was the night she broke up with her one and only boyfriend. She used to be such a happy kid. She was carefree and always had a smile on her face. After that night it’s like that little girl was gone and this hell took over her. I’ve always been protective towards her. She was never just Louis’ little sister to me.
Growing up together I always had a thing for her. She’s funny and beautiful and doesn’t let anyone walk all over her. She’s brave and always willing to try anything. That’s why we got along so well. We’re both outgoing and spontaneous. Both of us know we could be nothing more than friends. Every time we say we should stop but neither of us have self-control to stay away. I’ve tried talking to her before about it. She always says how she wishes it were just the two of us. No one else to mess with our relationship. When I propose that we should just come clean she backs away. She doesn’t speak to me for some time and acts like I don’t exist. When I approach her about it she makes me feel like I did something wrong. If I start seeing someone else she tells me I could never be loyal. I would if she was willing to take that chance.
Our biggest hurdle to get over is Louis. He’s always been there for me. We’ve been through a lot together. When my parents went through a very messy and violent divorce he was there for me when I needed him the most. I would never want to do anything to betray his trust or hurt him. I know sneaking behind his back and sleeping with his little sister is bad. Really bad. If he found out he would probably stop speaking to me after taking a few swings at me. I couldn’t blame him though. Louis knows how I am with girls. He’s my best friend. I am open and honest with him. He knows the number of girls I’ve been with. He knows how I treat the ones I don’t really care about. I’ve always gone from girl to girl, never really settling down. I’ve had a few girlfriends but no relationship has lasted more than a few months.
We could have just been honest from the start. If we took Louis out of the equation, Lauren still has her trust issues. She thinks every guy will cheat on her, run out on her or control her. We’ve discussed it many times. She doesn’t trust me when it comes to a relationship but she does as a friend. She tells me most things she won’t tell anyone else. But still there is so much she keeps hidden in her mind. I don’t know what happened to her but it was something serious that was holding her back from not only me but any relationship. I fear one day whatever she is keeping to herself it’s all going to become too much for.
She’s reckless. She loves danger. I know the trouble she gets herself into because I am usually the one bailing her out. When Louis and I left for college no one could really looked out for her. She started drinking more and getting involved with the wrong crowd. She developed a bit of a drug habit and I know she still has a problem. I can’t get through to her. I’ve tried. I’m not one to talk. I have gotten into a fair share of trouble myself and she knows mostly everything I did wrong.
When she texted me to pick her up from a party just before Thanksgiving break I thought I was going to kill someone when I found out who’s house she was at. Dan Sanchez is the most dangerous man around. He’s 23 and the leader this gang right outside of town. I’ve had some altercations with him in the past. We don’t really see eye to eye but I would never fuck with him. When I walked in the house and he had Lauren pinned against the wall it took all my might to not knock him out. Knowing that if I did his boys would be all over me. But still I needed to protect her. Keep her safe. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to her.
