I held my phone in my hand. There were so many people I wanted to call. First on my list was my mom. I needed the truth. I wouldn’t put it past her. She would sleep with Niall’s father. For some reason that hurts more than any of the other men my mom has cheated on my dad with.
I wanted to call Niall. Apologize for storming out but I had the right to. His family sat at the table, bashing me and my family. Like hell if I was going to sit around and have her patronize me.
I had to get my mind off of it. It’s sad that this is the only way I know how. I can’t talk to Niall. Not yet. How can I have a conversation with him about my mom and his dad doing it? I know how much his parent’s divorce tore him apart. What if my mom was the reason? So I did what I always do. I ran. I hid. In his best friend’s room.
“You sure about this Lauren? You’ve been doing so well.” Zayn said with a hint disappointment in his voice.
“It’s been a fucked up night Zayn. Trust me I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.” He frowned and my heart sunk. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wouldn’t be here begging you for a joint. You know I like hanging out with you.”
“Your boyfriend seems to have a problem with it.” I shake my head, letting out a heavy breath.
“Yeah, well Niall doesn’t control me. I’m allowed to have friends.”
“Right” Zayn said sarcastically. I pushed him back, causing little green flakes to fall from the paper. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“About Niall being a jealous, insane boyfriend?”
Zayn laughed that oh so beautiful laugh of his. If I weren’t so head over heels for Niall he would be a good choice. “No about the dinner. What went wrong?”
“Apparently my mom slept with his dad and his mother had to out that at dinner.”
“I see” he said but didn’t look up from his task at hand. “Do you think she was telling the truth.”
“I don’t know. Probably” I shrugged. “My mom’s not the most faithful woman. But you know how his mom is.”
“That I do” he grinned. “She made you feel like shit?” I nodded. “Made you feel like you weren’t good enough for her son?”
“Exactly. My whole life I’ve been compared to Louis. I’ll just never live up to him in anyone’s eyes.”
“For what it’s worth” Zayn started, putting down the rolling paper to look at me. “You surpass your brother in many ways. And you are hell of a lot nicer to look at too.”
“Thanks” I smiled for what seemed like the first time all day.
I continued to watch Zayn as he focused on rolling the joint. I watched his tongue as it slid along the paper. Get those thoughts out of your head, I yell at myself. Zayn passed me the joint and I stared down at it.
“You don’t have to” he said quietly.
“I know.” I twirled it in my fingers for a few seconds before bringing it to my lips and lighting it. Fuck it. I have nothing to prove to anyone. It’s only weed. It’s not like I’m taking pills or anything too serious. I just needed to relax.
We passed it back a few times. Zayn’s room was cloudy. My body finally was less tense. Zayn kept his distance, sitting on the other side of the bed from me. In that moment I wondered what it would have been like if it was Zayn that crawled into my bed all those years ago. That thought quickly vanished when Niall’s name appeared on the screen of my phone.
I hit ignore and fell back against the bed. “You can’t avoid him forever” Zayn said throwing my phone on my stomach.
“Not forever. Just for tonight.”
