Today is my first day back at school. It’s weird. Really weird. School started about two weeks ago. I missed out on some of it but I wasn’t ready to go back yet. Luckily I could use going to the doctors as an excuse. I had many appointments and physical therapy. It would have been pointless to travel back and forth.
Maybe the reason I didn’t want to go back yet was because I needed space. From my friends and Louis and maybe Niall just a little bit. My parents were both busy at work so I spent those two weeks lounging around and watching TV.
When I first came home from the hospital it was like I had no room to breathe. Everyone was worried about me. They were being really protective. It was suffocating. I couldn’t even walk two feet without someone asking what I was doing and if I needed help. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without someone waiting outside the door for me.
I promised my parents that I was done with drugs so they wouldn’t send me to rehab or counseling. Of course they had their doubts that’s why they were breathing down my neck. What we really needed was more communication. I needed the drugs and alcohol to numb everything. I didn’t want to think about the horrible things happening in my life so I took care of it. Not in the best way but it worked for the time being. But I was done though. For good. I believed myself even though they didn’t trust me. I don’t blame them for doubting me though. I would only drink socially and stop when I know I’ve had enough.
I spent the remainder of the summer inside. I didn’t want to go out with my friends. I barely wanted to go out with Niall even when he bribed me with a shopping trip. He never understood how tired I could be when I slept for 3 months. He was good though. He spent a lot of time with me, which I didn’t really expect.
We explained to my parents our relationship leaving out some of the more sensual details. They didn’t need to know about that. I thought my dad was going to pull out his rifle when we told them about our complicated past. My mom was more understanding. Probably because she was happy I was safe and not dating a leader of a gang. Niall was clearly the better option.
Things were also a little weird between Niall and Louis. I know he was warming up to the idea of Niall and I together more than he was before but he was still pissed about it. Louis was used to Niall coming over to see him and not me. Even when Niall did come over to see me he would pretend he was here to hang out with Louis. I don’t know if Louis feels like he is losing his best friend but that would never happen. They’ve been through so much together and I would never come between them.
And I have to say that I was happy to have Brianna around. She helped defuse the bomb that was Louis. She calmed him down when he got angry with Niall and I. She would get him off my back when he was watching too carefully over me. I could say that we almost became friends. I didn’t hate her as much. It was nice to have a girl around the house that wasn’t my mom.
Niall skipped many of the end of the summer parties for me. I felt really bad but I made it worth his while. I never asked him to hang back with me. Sometimes he would have to beg for me to let him stay. I wanted him to go out and have fun. I trusted him since he was around my friends too.
We mostly hung around in the living room or the pool. We would cuddle on the couch and watch movies. Then he would throw me over his shoulder and toss me in the pool. I would wear skimpy bathing suits to drive him crazy. I wasn’t ashamed for him to see all my scars. I hid them from other people though.
He would swim around me and try to pull the strings on my bathing suit. I would push him back and swim away from him, teasing him until he couldn’t take it anymore. He would be rough with me, which I love. But then he would go easy. It was like he was afraid to hurt me but I was fine.
