Unforgivable Lacerations

Chapter Six

'Good King Wenceslas' is the song in the video, also, the tune that Bella plays at the end of this chapter.

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I opened the front door quickly to avoid the rain as much as possible, but I was still soaked; my socks rubbing against my feet uncomfortably, my shirt sticking to me, and my pants stiff. I huffed in annoyance as soon as the door slammed shut, I had only run from the car to the door.

"Bella?" Charlie called as I walked through to the lounge to show myself, and not make Charlie think I was some sort of serial killer. Charlie's eyes widened my appearance when he saw me drenched in rain water. "Bella! Did you play in the rain or something?" He smirked. "Go get changed and have a shower, I don't want you getting a cold," Charlie proceeded to tell me. 

I nodded and then put the cheese in the fridge before I went upstairs.

Storing my CDs in my room along with collecting my pajamas and washbag, I stepped into the comfort of the shower, letting the warm droplets hit my cold skin, slightly painful with the temperature difference. 

My mind, breaking from sanity each day, was always latching onto Edward, reminding me of him by linking the smallest things. My cold skin being one of them. The difference of temperature when I tenderly touched the skin of my cold cheek, brought my fist in the air with annoyance and pain of missing him, and then smashing into the white tiles, the knuckles collided with the rock. 

Pain shooted up my arm, sourced from my hand, quickly, making me bring my hand close to my chest to aid it uselessly as I melted to the floor. Crying. 

I'm so stupid, I shouldn't have even loved him in the first place since he would have left sooner or later. Everyone is leaving. Why? 

My own mind was harassing me... Harassing me with the painful truth. My fingers gripped my hair and tugged at the scalp trying to rid myself of the voice I could hear in my mind. My scalp slowly started to ache but I couldn't make myself stop.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I quietly chanted to myself.

I stayed in the same position until the water started to lose its temperature, freezing my muscles, before I made myself get out. I dried, threw my pajamas on and took my wet clothes into my room for them to be put on the radiator. 

However, when I numbly trekked into my room, not paying any attention to my actions, the coins dropped from my jeans' pocket, sliding out and falling between the wooden floor cracks. I just stood there, thinking that I couldn't even put my clothes on the radiator without something fucking up! I was failing in everything it seemed. My patience was thinning.

I would get them later as I needed to start dinner.

Charlie had fallen asleep when I was making dinner, therefore I cooked it and ate a small portion myself, storing some of his away for later. It had been only half an hour after I ate that Charlie woke and ate his. When he had eaten, I washed his dish and locked the doors while he brushed his teeth, getting ready for an early night sleep. With each passing day, he had been sleeping more and becoming weaker. My fear was growing with his amount of sleep, loss of weight, and his difference in motivation. With his rapid growth in frailty, his list of what he needed to do compared to what he wanted to do, became shorter; making me step up into the role of a carer. 

After, I went to my room and went straight to work at pulling up the floorboards using a metal fireplace prodder I found in the cupboard under the stairs. I wasn't really paying attention until I saw them. A disc cover and pictures, but not just some random stuff that I would expect to be down here if anything.