Unforgivable Lacerations

Chapter Thirty-Six

Bella's P.O.V

"Bella, sweetheart?" I heard distantly. The weight had started to recede, and while I was thankful, I wanted to stay in this easy tranquillity of nothingness. My mind had only been allowing me limited thoughts before I would be forced to return to the darkness. But, in the one path of thought I was allowed, I had accepted that I was dead.

Was this Hell?

The darkness and feeling of weakness drained me, but all the while I would hear familiar voices tormenting me, reminding me what I could never have. Edward, for example.

When I was aware of my surroundings but unable to open my eyes, I would hear the quiet mumbling of Edward. Sometimes I would just hear his breathing over the aggravating 'beep' which sounded next to me. I knew it was him. However, to hear Edward's voice in hell was, although painful, peaceful. Music to my ears and a distraction to why I was in this cell of nothingness.

Now that I was relished in death, I knew that it was better than life. The life I had was just surviving, now, though, I could finally be set free from the pain and misery. It didn't matter anymore that I would never see the light of day again, no, because now I didn't have to be constantly terrified of when Jacob would walk through the door, or aware that I was being watched most hours of the day by sadistic monsters. I didn't care I was dead.

Yet, I did wonder what happened to my body.

Surely, to cover up Jacob's work, he would have taken me with him, like a bundle of groceries, and then at the nearest deep lake or ocean, chucked me away- like the litter from that bundle of groceries. Why did I care? I wasn't exactly going to reclaim the body! Also, what else would Jacob have done with my body? A funeral? I thought not. Return to my family? Evidently impossible.

The echoing of another call of my name had me trying to claw the density I was consumed by away, desperate to discover who the voice was being sourced from. Was someone else in Hell with me? How did they know my name? I knew it wasn't my parents...they wouldn't be in Hell. I needed to hear this voice, even if it was female and not Edward's. Someone was calling me by my name; Bella. Not Isabella, or whore, or hag. Bella. I yearned for this loneliness to perish, for me to see this female who was calling me by my name. Maybe she could help me find out how we could escape this darkness.

It felt as though I was moving a loaded lorry by a steel chain, pulling, pulling, until my back would snap from the pressure. I could feel every limb moving! Was I on some sort of transport? The mass of movement happened to be from above my neck, but, my lungs, I was sure, were moving. Could I breathe in Hell? I didn't have control. My lungs worked by themselves, my swarming head spiraled with a glassy pain that spiked at my brain, and everywhere else was like someone had planted the seeds of a bruising pain in my rows, waiting for them to fully bloom.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Another female voice, I recognized it, though. High pitched but laced with concern, the voice that used to hold so much energy. I knew that voice! Come on, mind, don't fail me now.

Who did I know who had also died? And wasn't my parents. My grandparents? No, certainly not.

I wished to open my mouth, devour the surrounding air, and scream for them to help me! Where was Edward now? I needed to hear his voice, and yet someone else had taken his place! I preferred Edward's presence as it kept my sanity in order in this cold and lonely place.

"It's okay, dear, you're safe. Alice, are you sure she'll wake now?" A motherly voice reassured but the latter sentence sounded desperate, a voice that I hadn't heard in so long; but it wasn't my mother. Not my biological mother that I had hoped to see in this new life. The mother that was probably in Heaven now. Her soul was kind and pure, same with my father and Phil... unlike mine. I knew I must have done something to receive such torture from my parents' death to the abuse to this life in Hell. How humorous it was, that I was never one to believe in anything religious when I was alive.