Unforgivable Lacerations

Chapter Eighteen

Job hunting wasn't going well, I had ended up in July with the grief and pain never getting better. The cottage was helping, mostly due to the balcony and its view, and the lounge was a place that I could read and relax, with its second-hand leather armchair, brown cotton sofa, beige walls, large fireplace and forty inch television on the wall. I had spent my time mainly in my imagination, sitting on the couch thinking about 'what ifs', I was always shocked to see that it would be hours later that I reentered the real world.

Jacob was still coming round every day, and while it was out of kindness- I presumed, it was rather infuriating. I didn't say my opinion about his visits to him, I wasn't that mean, but his constant reminding of Edward and my parents were not appreciated. It was as if he didn't have a brain or any manners. The quick "Suppose your dad approved of the leech then if he was to let you get close to him?" or "That 'family' had everyone under their spell! Even you." He didn't think of them as a family, which was clear as whenever he said the word it came out bitter and sarcastic. I would defend, defend and defend saying that they did nothing wrong and there was no sort of spell but Jacob would just laugh and say how naïve I was. I bit my lip on numerous occasions, wanting to say 'If I am naïve then what are you?' but the sense of fear and dread would stop me.

*_*_*_*_*

Charlie's birthday was tomorrow and I already felt sick. For the occasion, I was going to visit him and place flowers down, it had been seven months and three days since his death and I had no shame by saying that I was counting.

Jacob had made a visit but today I was short tempered and more fragile than usual, his comments started an uproar within me that I couldn't control.

"He's probably off with some blond chick, shagging like there's no tomorrow," Jacob laughed, talking about Edward once again.

"Leave it, Jacob. You don't know anything about him!" I snapped, my voice slightly louder than its usual volume as I poured a glass of orange juice for myself. 

"And you do?" he challenged. Was he serious? I rotated around, glaring at him. 

"More than you."

"I doubt that, as you need to open your eyes. You don't know everything." True, I didn't know everything but who did?

"Never claimed I did," I answered, immaturely, feeling like a five-year-old that was about to stick my tongue out.

"Don't answer back, it doesn't suit you." I hiccupped an acidic laugh at his response, "Maybe you should stop wallowing in this 'I'm depressed, look at me' and get over yourself. Do something for once, because seriously the act is getting old."

"Act? I thought we had a talk about the whole stupidity of it being an act! You come to my house, day after day, eat and drink my stuff and then bitch and rant about my family and Edward. Have you thought to grow up once in a while, instead of asking me to? I'm doing something with my life. Yes, I might be moving on with my life slowly, but I am moving," I argued, the subject of 'doing something' was sensitive to me as I didn't know if I wanted to move on anymore. He stood up and paced towards me.

"I need to grow up? I have because of those damn Cullens, who you love so much! If you didn't go and open your legs for that bloodsucker, then they would have left earlier- leaving me human!" he roared.

Leaving him human?

"What are you talking about being not human?" I cringed back slightly. But he continued closer and started shaking, hands clenched in fists and jaw locked.

"It's all your fault!" he continued to shout. "You know what? I'll show you what I mean! The whole pack has been waiting for a chance to meet you." Without any warning, my hair was pulled in his grasp and he started to drag me outside the front door. I screamed in pain but his fingers only pulled tighter when I did.