Unforgivable Lacerations

Chapter Thirty-Eight

"I keep forgetting that I have been out for six weeks," I said, staring at my battered reflection in the mirror. Alice couldn't let me stand alone, with my broken legs and healing wounds, so I was carried- painfully, but more embarrassingly- bridal style.

My bruises had faded, only yellow, red, and a tinge of blue remaining, my black thread stitches had been taken out and sealed, and part of my right leg had been covered by a white cast that also matched my other leg, which was completely sealed off from foot to thigh. Also, underneath my clothes was an uncomfortable brace around my ribs to keep the broken bones secure. 

"Yes, the swelling has died down immensely, as has the bruising. When you've been given the all clear, you can start hobbling around." She pointed her head in the direction of my broken leg, "it has been six weeks." Relief surged through me, thinking about walking around again, as I hated to be relying on people. 

"It's weird seeing my reflection like this, I'm used to seeing myself as the monster from Frankenstein," I commented, airing my thoughts stupidly. The excitement must have been clouding my thoughts, letting them escape me.

They don't care, Isabella.

"Sorry," I apologized when I saw that look on Alice's face. The look of pity, sympathy.

"Don't say that, Bella. You're not there anymore, say anything you want." I looked up at Alice, still in her arms. Yes, it did feel a bit weird being carried by Alice...but by now I was used to anything that would normally be abnormal. I nodded in answer, knowing that I would still bite my tongue a bit.

They don't need to hear your babble.

They'll just leave sooner, Isabella.

"Promise?" Alice asked. I knew she saw my hesitation- I didn't like to lie.

"Promise," I mumbled. Alice slowly turned away from the mirror and to the bath. It was already full, which flared a panic. Why was I panicking? That night, the night I nearly died, wouldn't be repeated. I trusted Alice. She wouldn't hurt me. I would be fine.

"I know what happened, Bella," Alice said quietly, quickly removing my gown.

"What?" I asked, confused. She didn't have Edward's gift, how?

"I've seen you talk about the incident involving the bath. That's why there's a shower connected, so you don't have to put your head underwater." I was touched at how much she cared, taken back that someone thought about me.

Of course, they did. Why was I thinking so little of them?

"Thank you," I choked out.

"Okay, Bella, tell me as soon as you need to get out," Alice said seriously, slowly placing my body in the warm water. I was confused as to why Alice seemed so concerned, but it soon dawned. As the water lapped over my legs I felt the walls move in, the water felt like a bag being tightened around me- stopping my access of breathing. The water was only up to my waist if I was to sit straight.

I saw Jacob above me instead of Alice, I saw his large hand reach for my face- to push me under. I could hear my screams from that night, even if my mouth wasn't even open now. I could remember how the water had surged down my throat, the feeling of something pushing away my vision while I was engulfed by this space. 

It wasn't a bath I was in, but a deep ocean, with waves overlapping me. I was too small to swim up to the surface, too weak to push away Jacob's hand. 

"No, no, no," I repeated. I remembered how bashful I was at the start, and then slowly I had quietened down, desiring the freedom death would have soon given me.