Unforgivable Lacerations

Chapter Twenty-Two

Day Eight.

It was gradually becoming nearly a year since they left, twenty-three more dreadful days. Jacob had kept to his threat and the abuse got considerably worse with every new day; I didn't understand why I deserved it. It wasn't my fault they were like they were, wolves, yet they were convinced it was my fault. Like everything that went wrong, it was my fault. 

Varying from seven to nine hours a day he was out of the house, either working, at school, or at his job. It was a horrifying thought about how much time Jacob spent round my house, he practically lived with me, apart from visiting his dad almost every day in the mornings and evenings. 

Last week Jacob had bought the groceries for me, after he informed me that I wasn't to be trusted out of the house. However, today I needed to go and buy stuff I certainly didn't want Jacob to buy me, tampons and birth control pills. 

Things became gradually out of hand this last week, he had begun hitting, constantly hitting me, and making various comments that tore any remaining confidence I had. In addition, one subject strangely approached when we had been eating breakfast one morning; out of the blue, he suggested having 'little Jacobs running around the house in the future'. 

Children.

It was hard to contain my nausea and fear at the mere idea. What had possessed his mind to imagine children? We weren't even in a relationship! Emotions tied to my anger, I had fought the tears away and gritted my teeth, knowing I would try everything to not conceive. Honestly, even if it was someone else suggesting children, I wouldn't want to. I was a parent figure, for myself and my mother growing up, that was enough. I wouldn't know what to do with a child! Certainly, Jacob's which would be produced horrifically. 

Of course, I knew how children were made, and I knew that there would have to be a repeat of that night. I felt dirty just thinking about it. Therefore, scared I would be punished, I was on my best behavior, I never asked anything and only spoke when spoken to. It was torture, against human right, and made me feel weak, but I couldn't do anything about it. This was how life was when against a supernatural beast. 

Late night snacks had been a survival core now as Jacob never fed me appropriately. If I didn't have the fruit and carbohydrates at night, when he was asleep, I would only have bread to live off- something he only granted me. Well, if I was good I was allowed an apple. Logically, I didn't take anything that would cause suspicion to Jacob, for instance, muffins, chocolate, or cookies. Just the stuff that was at the back of the cupboards. 

As a result of the limited food intake, my energy levels dropped considerably, forcing me to have a nap halfway through the afternoon if Jacob wasn't around. It wasn't ideal, especially as I had to wake at half-five in the morning just to prepare a breakfast for Jacob- a breakfast I wasn't allowed to have, for him to eat when he woke at six. 

"Suppose we have to go to Port Angeles for this shop?" he asked after I hesitantly asked him if we could buy some groceries. Disgustingly, he wiped the grease around his mouth from his hamburger he was just devouring with his sleeve and picked the remains out of his teeth with his grubby fingers. 

"Yes." I managed to not stutter in nerves.

He nodded, getting up from the couch and flinging the plate on the sofa- for me to pick up and wash. "The pack's coming over tonight by the way," he said. "It's Sunday and we need to celebrate a few achievements." My mind only showed the picture of the full back garden, and what that day proceeded into. 

"Everyone." I gulped, my eyes wide, my heart fastening. 

"Yeah, just the pack, though. Which reminds me! I need to buy some alcohol."