Gabriel (Book 1)

I Had it all- the rise and then the fall

October 2nd, 2010

I don’t wish to talk about what is happening now. So I will tell you what has already happened. This is only a piece of my past:

The year is One thousand three hundred and ninety  (1390 AD). I live in Staraja, Russia. And am one of the wealthiest families in the country. I believe our last name was Riabushinskii. Also pronounced ‘ Ryabushinsky’.

They called me ‘Gavril Riabushinskii’ (‘Gavril’ in Russian is the English equivalent of ‘Gabriel’). I have a mother and a father and  three brothers and one sister. The names of my brothers are Nikolai (who was the oldest at 35), Filip (who came second at 32), and Yasha (who was 30). This left me as the youngest of my brothers yet, thankfully, I was older than my sister Galina (who was 20 at the time of my…ahem…departure). I adored Galina! And trust me, she lived up to the meaning of her name, “calm and serene”, she was lovely! And that was why I never loved another girl since! None could take the place of my sister…or my wife. I was to be married to Natalia in 1385, I was twenty three and I was considered an man at the time. Well, I didn’t think of myself as an old man and did not wish to settle down yet. I tried everything possible to get away from marrying Natalia. I drank all the liquor in my site and staggered home at all odd hours. That didn’t provoke a reaction from anyone except my mother, she said the devil was manifesting itself inside my body. My father laughed and said, “’Ерунда! Мальчик наконец вырастает и экспериментирует с мужественными вещами!’” (Nonsense! The boy is finally growing up and experimenting with manly things.) My brother Filip said, “’Дьявол не может проявляться внутри Gavril! Его Бог ‘средств названия - моя сила!'‘”(The devil cannot be manifesting himself inside Gavril! His name means ‘God is my strength!) He laughed.

My mother ignored them both but said, “’ Дьявол не мог бы быть человеком! Возможно это - женщина!‘” (The devil might not be a man! Perhaps it is a woman!).

‘A woman?’ I thought to myself. And so it shall be! The next week I ran away two towns over and paid a couple of whores. I spent over a month there doing unspeakable things in hopes that my family would hear of this and disown me or forbid my marriage on grounds of my sanity. I had no such luck…My oldest, wisest, and favorite brother came and found me, I woke up late one afternoon in a bed (of course not remembering what I did the night before or how I got back there!) and found my brother Nikolai sitting in a chair with his legs crossed.

“’Nikolai-’” I began, then found myself leaning over the bed throwing up.

“’ Не говорите, молодой. Только слушайте. Мы тоскуем без Вас-‘” (Do not talk, young one. Just listen. We miss you-).

“’ Отец не тоскует без меня. И я не тоскую без его!‘” (Father does not miss me. And I do not miss him!).

I went to stand up but fell over, Nikolai catching me.

“’ Вы получили себя в настоящий беспорядок, брата. Сядьте и позвольте мне говорить с Вами. Теперь, я собираюсь отводить Вас домой, Вы собираетесь отрезвляться! И Вы должны спуститься с прохода с Наталией и должны иметь удачливую, веселую жизнь! Вы понимаете?‘” (You have gotten yourself into quite a mess, brother. Sit down and let me talk to you. Now, I am going to take you home, you are going to get sobered up! And you shall walk down the aisle with Natalia and have a fortunate, merry life! Do you understand?).

I nodded.

Nikolai picked me up and we traveled back to Staraja. I don’t know how but somehow the family managed to keep my travels a secret. A month later, my family thought I was sober and so I walked down the aisle with Natalia. And we became husband and wife.

That night, our daughter was conceived.

She was named Catia (meaning Katy). And I loved her, more than anything.

Looking back on my life, I should have been nicer and more attached to my family. But I wasn’t:

I continued to drink (though, I never hurt my family), I disowned all my family except my wife, child, and brother Nikolai, and I gambled. Another favorite pastime of mine was…suicide. Trying to die.

Many times I played Russian Roulette with guns: loading them and firing them at my head to see if they would go off. As you can tell, they didn’t go off. I tried cheating at cards, hoping my opponents would get angry and finish me off. I also tried hanging myself….the rope broke as soon as I kicked the chair from under me. I was getting very frustrated! Five years had past and Catia and I were on our way back from town. We hadn’t realized how late it was until it was too late…it was dark.

Now, of course there were legends of vampires…they weren’t taken as seriously as they should have been….we didn’t even know they walked in the sunlight with us!

Her name was Kali. Kali killed my daughter in front of my eyes. There was nothing I could have done against a monster like her! I fought her I did! But she sent me home without a scratch…well, a physical scratch, meanwhile my heart was torn to shreds. Kali wanted my wife to think I had let something happen to Catia. And she did. We fought, well she did. I stood there wondering what I could do to change things?

Three days later we had Catia’s funeral. As they lowered her remains (very few of them. Shreds of her body.) into the ground, I felt the last bit of my sanity dry up. I went insane. So insane that one night I even dug up her grave and laid with her remains. Every night I walked until I could pass out, looking for Kali. Not knowing if I would rather murder her or rather her murder me so I could be with my beautiful girl. Her long perfect curls, her bright pink cheeks and green eyes…just like mine. She looked just like me.

In a way, I got what I wanted: Kali killed me. But it was a never ending death, for everyone.

My first victim was my father, the man who never believed in me, the man whose fault this was! I enjoyed that one.

The second kill was Natalia: The woman who gave my Catia! The woman who gave me something I cared so much about! How dare she give me something that ended up hurting me so!

Third, was my brother, Nikolai: He was the one who kept me grounded. The one who brought me to marry Natalia, the one who found me when I could have become nothing and no one playing around with whores two towns away!

From then on, I had no friends. I didn’t need them. People only cause pain and suffering!

All I wanted, was for the world to bleed the way my beautiful little girl had! God took away the one thing I loved, and he would pay for that! He would pay!

-Gabriel