Gabriel (Book 1)

Lost...

March 17th, 2011

I can't take any more of this. Catia keeps coming back to me and my heart breaks more and more each time.

I am back in my room in Kerry but I see her still. She knocks on the door or peeps out from under the bed, "'Папа! Игра со мной! '" (Daddy! Play with me!)

But they all end the same way: she hugs me and dies in my arms. She trips and I catch her, she dies in my arms. She asks me to braid her hair, I finish and she is dead.

I tell myself not to believe that she is back, but I want her to be so bad that it's like seeing her for the first time! Its a miracle! Then its gone again.

Then I hear the same maniacal laughter after Catia's re-death, its Her laugh. She plucks my dead child from my arms and dances her around the room with her purple eyes and sparkly hair pulling me in. Her purple eyes look deep into my soul and bring up dark memories and feelings of anger. I thought I killed Her, didn't I? I can't be sure of anything anymore, it all seems like a distant memory. After my trip to the past, I'm wondering if I changed anything? Is She still alive by some mistake of mine?

She let's go of my daughter and I leap from the floor to grab her precious body before it hits the floor. But Catia has vanished and instead I find myself standing in front of Her stroking my arms. I let out a roar and bite into her shoulder. The first drop is warm and powerful! But then it gets cold and disgusting. I pull away and see a trail of blue coming from her now closed wound.

"' Why don't you go downstairs and see what kind of havoc you have reaped, my little monster?'" The door creaks open and I brush past Her. She laughs as I walk down the stairs in a daze. I find the main room in disarray. Chairs and tables are overturned, dishes are shattered, and Katy is sobbing on the floor. Valentina rushes over to her and picks her up, hugging her and pretending everything will be alright. In the distance I see a mass of red hair running away: Faine. I look to the corner and there is that boy holding the dark haired girl. She looks up at me with interest while the boy smoothes her hair.

"'Impossible.'" I say. No one except the dark haired girl looks at me.

"' Oh no, my lover, it very possible.'" Says Her while peeping over my shoulder.

"'I couldn't have done this. I couldn't have killed Alec, Felix, Demetri and the others! I couldn't have!'" I'm all worked up. I'm searching through my mind for what happened.

"' Oh, but you did.'" I hear Her voice even though her body has disappeared.

I run up to my room to hide from the awful sight but am greeted by yet another.

Kali is perched on top of the bed and admiring the wall.

"'We had a good time then, didn't we?'" My portrait is on the wall. That smirk on my face, the twinkle in my red eyes, the blood splattered everywhere.

"'Did I tell you I used real blood for the red?'" She says gladly.

And then her portrait captivates me. Thorns in her hair, her mouth open in a scream and a single black tear rolling down her cheek.

"'You killed them, Gabriel. It's all your fault they are dead!'" She starts chanting over and over again. I back into the wall and a tear of blood rolls down my cheek.

"'No! I'm not like you! I don't kill people that way!'"

She stops, "'we're more alike then you think.'" There is a tear of blood rolling down her portraits cheek just like mine. Each inch that it moves is like hearing a gun shot ringing on my ears. It falls to the ground in slow motion and lands with a bang