Gabriel (Book 1)

A Joke...

April 10th, 2011

This is torture! This is madness and insanity! Madness. Am I really going mad? I seem to be getting crazier and crazier each time, don't you think? You don't understand what happened, do you? My Johanna was here, everything should be fine, right?

Well, its not. She isn't here. At least, not yet.

A hallucination is a funny thing. It shows you what you most want in the most pleasurable way. It is real and within reach, within experiencing and grasping! And then...it is gone. Like a bird in flight, like a tear worth crying or a dream that's dying...

Either way, that hallucination is gone and no matter how hard you try, you cannot get the same one back. The first time, become a father of a beautiful baby girl! The second time, the father of a wonderful little boy. The third time, that baby girl will have a different appearance in some way. Same with the boy, and on and on. No two dreams are the same, they can't be. Hence the reason they are made.

Well written by William Shakespeare is what I try to say:

"ROMEO-

Peace, peace, Mercutio, peace!

Thou talk'st of nothing.

MERCUTIO-

True, I talk of dreams,

Which are the children of an idle brain,

Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,

Which is as thin of substance as the air

And more inconstant than the wind, who woos

Even now the frozen bosom of the north,

And, being angered, puffs away from thence,

Turning his face to the dew-dropping south."

-Act 1, Scene 4, Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

An explanation of dreams being used to pass time, and that these dreams cannot be controlled. See them head North? But all to change and travel Southward instead? If our dreams are uncontrollable, then wouldn't it also be said:

"ROMEO-

And we mean well in going to this mask,

But 'tis no wit to go.

MERCUTIO-

Why, may one ask?

ROMEO-

I dreamt a dream tonight.

MERCUTIO-

And so did I.

ROMEO-

Well, what was yours?

MERCUTIO-

That dreamers often lie.

ROMEO-

In bed asleep while they do dream things true."

-Act 1, Scene 4

That dreams serve as a warning? As much as they are wild, are they not also helpful? Not all dreams hold the value of truth in them, but they hold what one craves: an escape.

Think not much of your dreams, but do beware; keep those thoughts in the back of your mind as you dance on air.

A dream is a warning, strong and true; a dream is a dream through and through.

As wild and untamed as the sea; but as reassuring and calm as the done deed.

So, was I in the wrong to believe, that my Johanna was still coming for me? As I dreamt her over and over and never lost faith?