Gabriel (Book 1)

Wha-What?! (Johanna's POV)

April 18th, 2011

Hello Diary,

So I've been staying with Gabriel for the past week. You do remember him, right? The man I saw in the woods a few months ago? He killed all of my friends...and tried to kill me. Well, I do know what you are thinking: 'Why the hell are you living with the man who tried to murder you?!'

Haha! Well, I don't know. I guess its because of my past. So many things have happened to me and to my family.....I guess I just want to live in the moment since you never know how long that moment will last. Of all people....I know how hard that can be....

Forget that part of this topic! I've been having a pretty good time. The boys are great! Felix is funny and Alec is nice. Demetri is just like the older brother I always wanted! And it gets even better, Diary! All we do all day/night is play video games together!!! And usually I kick at least one or two asses! Lol before I leave I will definitely have to show them some pointers.

The girls....are pretty girly. Faine, possibly Valentina, might be the only non-girly girl here. But, then again, I really haven't had much time with Jordan since she is preparing for a baby! Isn't that great?! I think its sweet that she and her husband want the "ideal family". But, who is to say what is and isn't "ideal"?! What if I didn't want to be married but wanted 10 kids?! Would that be extremely un-ideal?! Well, yeah. I think it would be, but you get the point!

So you caught the 'I'm leaving' bit, huh? Its true. While they all have been so nice to me for the past week and a half, I have to get home to my parents and to what is left of my life. There isn't much of it, but I can't lose what I do have. I can't. The hardest part of all this will be seeing Gabriel's face when I say goodbye. The poor man can't stop following me around! He has no connection whatsoever to me and yet thinks he can control me! I swear it is the most aggravating thing ever! I thought I could change him. Just because he is technically "dead" doesn't mean he has to act like it! I would think it would be obvious to him that he was given a second chance for a reason! That poor jerk blames himself for everything that happens, but he doesn't realize that everything happens for a reason! He lived for a reason, I lived for a reason, the others lived for a reason! God has a plan, and he needs us in it. I guess I should tell Gabriel now, huh? Now would be good. I have my white dress on, the one I arrived in, I wouldn't feel right taking any of the clothes they bought me. Gee, I hope he takes it okay.

I prance down the stairs and just before I can say goodbye to everyone, my cell phone starts ringing.

I plead with everyone to not use their super vampire hearing. I think they listen, not like I could ever tell!

Oh no, its the hospital....

"Hello?" I say in a shaky voice.

"Miss Blake, how are you-"

"Don't talk to me like you really care. And don't you dare pretend we are friends. What happened?" I demand.

A deep breath on the other line, "We knew it wasn't possible for-" I zone in and out of shock and only catch parts of the sentence,"...shock....tests....no more time....." And at last they said those fatal words: the kiss of death on my sundae of suck! It was, "....I'm sorry..."

I lean my head against the cool wood of the room and pull air into my lungs. My head is spinning and I feel like I can't breathe. The gesture is too forced.

"Hello?! Miss Blake?!" The doctor says.

I close my eyes and warm tears start gliding down my cheeks, spilling from my eyes, "No. Your not." My words come faster and harsher, "YOU NEVER EVEN TRIED!" I snap the phone shut and squeeze it tight. I wasn't strong enough to break it like Gabriel could.

All the sudden, Faine has her cold hand on my shoulder, "Johanna?"

"No. Don't touch me." I step away from her, "Don't come near me." And then I am racing out the door. My feet are pounding against the earth and my eyes are blinded by white hot tears. The wind slaps my face and rocks stab my bare feet but I don't feel the pain. In fact, I welcome it. I'd rather feel that than the kind of hurt my heart was feeling.

It didn't take long for me to collapse. I just couldn't carry on any longer, my heart couldn't take it. So I fell into a flower garden and pulled my knees under my chin. I started rocking myself back and forth with my hands constantly running through my hair.

What would I do now? Where would I go? Who would I go to?

I didn't have the will or the time to answer those questions.

"Johanna, what happened?" Gabriel asks sliding onto the ground in front of me.

"N-n-nothing," I stammer. He looks anxious, "Gabriel, I need to-"

"Wait, Johanna. I have something I need to say. And you need to hear it."

Well, how bad could it be to hear what he needs to say? He's just going to yell at me again, right?

"I love you."

what?! WHAT THE HELL?!?

"Я люблю тебя (I love you). And I will forever. I haven't stopped thinking about you since I first saw you-"

"You don't even know me!" I shout.

He continues on, "you are the reason I exist and want to continue on. I guess what I am trying to say is-"

"No." I plead, "I can't handle this right now. Please don't-"

"Will you marry me?" His eyes light up.

This is really what he says at this time?! While he is cute and semi nice...sometimes... I just-just.....

"No."

-Johanna