Trying to Belong

Chapter 12

Rey sat in her math test. She had three tests left to do and they were all on that day. Math was the first one. That naturally left her feeling nothing but disdain towards the whole thing. First thing in the morning - math and not a lesson! No no no but an actual test that was going to be marked and determined her entire future!

Another thing Rey was having a problem with was a private invigilator was taking over the exam and making sure no one cheated. Kylo was with Amethyst to the doctor's appointment. It was the first time she'd actually wished for Kylo to be there but as much of a pain as he was, he was her cousin and she'd gotten used to him. A whole new level of anxiety had taken over and of course she couldn't look at her paper. If she failed, what would her new family think of her?

She took deep breaths and tears began to roll down her cheeks as the worries compiled. "I can do this." she muttered quietly to herself and wiped the tears with the ends of the arms of her jumper. When the invigilator wasn't looking someone threw something at her and she saw a note. She opened it discreetly. It was from Finn.

-You can do this. I know you can do this. Poe would tell you this too if he hadn't finished this level of math a year early -

Not wanting to risk throwing a note she turned to Finn and nodded, slipping the note down the arm of her jumper.

After ten minutes of just staring and taking deep breaths and panicking she got out of the test, still before everyone else. Luke was there to greet her. That made her start crying again. "Rey. Rey are you alright? What's wrong?" He asked and panicked. He made her sit down on a bench.

"I get this way with exams. Anxiety...anxiety. I'm..."

Luke stroked her shoulder. "How long until your next one?"

"About an hour." Rey replied.

"Come on." he said and helped her up. He took her to what looked like the teacher's break room. "What do you like to drink? Pepsi isn't it?"

"I'd like a whiskey right now."

"No you don't young lady." Luke replied and Rey laughed. "What?"

"Nothing.... it's funny in a good way you telling me off. Makes me feel better." Rey started crying even more. "It's the stress. This happens to me a lot. Sometimes when I used to be in chess club. I won and I was still crying and terrified."

"Sit down." Luke said and brought her a can of soda and an apple. "Let's just get you calmed down. Would it help if I got Chewey?"

"No. Han's taken him into town to get him his bath at the dog groomer's. I wonder how that's going to go."

"Did you even sleep last night?" Luke asked, noticing Rey's eyes were bloodshot.

Rey shook her head.

"That isn't good for you."

"Don't tell me that like I don't know! Do you think I don't know that? I tossed and I turned and then I tossed and then I turned. Then I gave up and studied some more."

She took a sip of the cold beverage, glad of it. Her arms and face were boiling hot from her anxiety. "That invigilator was weird. He kept looking at everyone."

"Rey. It's his job to look at everyone. To make sure they aren't cheating."

"How are they supposed to cheat when he looks at everyone?" Rey asked and Luke smirked.

"I think you answered your own question." Luke replied. "How did you find the questions?"

"No. No. No no no no. We are not talking about the test. We are so not talking about the test."

"Right then.' Luke replied. "Do you know how to drive?"

"No." Rey replied and shook her head.

"Would you like to me to teach you?"

"Oh yes please!" Rey lightened up, suddenly forgetting about the exam. "You'd teach me how to drive? You're amazing! I mean....to some extent. You still have a lot of work to do."

"I'm aware." Luke chuckled, however the humour of the situation was suddenly overthrown with a hint of regret.

"I... I'm sorry I was quick to judge you... for leaving me... You did what you had to do to keep me safe. You'd rather you lost your relationship with me than lose me completely. You already lost so much. I was selfish to not... think about that."

"Rey you have nothing to apologise for. I never talked to you...how could I?"

"Anxiety."

"Anxiety." Luke sighed and rested his face on his fist as his elbowed leaned on the table between him and Rey.

"Amethyst told me you put up cat videos from time to time. Do you secretly likely cats?"

"It's not that simple. They have a mathematical aspect to it. I was trying to combine what students like with...math stuff."

"I'm jealous." Rey admitted. "With Kylo it's math math math math math."

"Well with me it's math math math math math math....Did I say math too many times? I just do it in a different way."

"Your way is much cooler though. No matter what Kylo says in complaint about it."

"What does he say?"

"What Kylo usually says. He was so annoyed I beat him at the crossword puzzle last week. Hehehehhee." Rey's eyes widened to the point it gave her an evil glint to her person. Luke drew her an odd look.

"How has your leg been?" Luke asked.

"It only hurts when it rains. Now I can be like you."

He raised an eyebrow.

"An old lady!" Rey explained and a grin appeared on her face and she chuckled. Luke laughed too.

"Do you want me to cut your apple up for you? You used to like eating it in pieces when you were three."

Rey didn't eat her apples like that anymore unless they came that way in bags but knowing how hopeless he was, trying to bond with her, she smiled nonetheless and nodded, handing it to him. He got up and walked to the draw with the cutlery and drank more of her sofa. She didn't mind really. He was trying and that was enough for her. She was enjoying being spoiled as well. "Dad..." Rey began. "Thank you for bringing me here." He turned and nodded to her.