Trying to Belong

Chapter 20

Moving in with the rest of the family was quick since she had very little to her name except the the new clothes and the laptop that her father had bought for her when she moved to the academy. Of course she didn't know it was him then.

Luke thought it best that she moved into the house since she'd basically finished school. Graduation was still to happen and some students were still doing resits and submitting essays.

She knew not to be too loud because she didn't know whether or not the twins were sleeping. She was glad they were doing much better. She felt happy for Amethyst.

Luckily within the first day she found the library. She was quick to build herself a fort and she read all day, until dinner time.

The dinner on her first night was quiet. Amethyst finished first, Rey barely noticed she had eaten before she was standing up. No one glanced up as she cleared her area, making it seem like she was never there. Next was Kylo. The awkwardness of it all was kind of frustrating and Rey felt a bit uncomfortable. Then that left her aunt Leia, uncle Han, and father - Luke.

"So how do you like the house?" he asked her to make conversation. He could see she wasn't entirely comfortable.

"It's big." Rey replied before shoving more food in her mouth. They were having chicken. It was one of her favourite foods and Rey ate no matter what she was feeling? Stressfull? Chocolate. Tired? Cookies. Awkward? She ate everything around her. "Thank you for the meal." She said and looked at Leia.

"I'm not the one to thank dear. Amethyst cooked it." Leia shook her head

"She cooks?"

"She and Ben. It's calming apparently." Luke said.

"Is there anything else I should know?" Rey asked.

"Ben can make pie, but hates it when you point it out." Han said picking up the plates.

"So I don't thank him?" Rey asked confused.

"He hates it." Leia sighed.

"Ok. Thank you for letting me stay here."

"You're welcome." Leia nodded and followed her husband out of the dining room.

"Lu-Dad." She was still getting used to the idea "Does, no. Umm" she was trying to figure out the best way possible to word this. "Am I a thorn in your guys' side?"

"Why would you ask that?"

"The way Kylo acts around me, it's kinda like it'd be better I wasn't around... Like I"m an unnecessary part that's here because I have to be. And then you... the look of sadness in your eyes."

"Ben is Ben. As for me... well....You remind me so much of your mother, that's why I am sad. She was the best thing that happened to me, besides you."

"How..."

"Did she die?" Luke continued for Rey.

"No.... How did you two....meet?"

"She was my student. You already know that."

"But that doesn't automatically make a relationship. What drew you to her? What drew her to you?"

"It was complicated but let's just say... she said things no one else said. Acted when no one else did and I liked her stories."

"Stories?" Rey asked. "She had many a tale to tell?"

"No she took everyday boring life and she wrote it out like it was fun. She was also an author.... got her first book published near the end of her last year of high school. That was my doing... She was going to kill me." Suddenly he smiled. "Yeah.... she was going to kill me but we settled our differences."

"She sounds sweet."

"Well she had her ways." Luke uttered. "Can I ask you about college?"

"I'm going to go to Harvard."

"Still.... it's so far away. I wouldn't see you until Christmas."

"I'll email you. It'll be fun." Rey replied and looked away. Suddenly she felt sad.

"Being a surgeon is demanding. The stress is unaccountable and you might not like it. Why don't you do something like chemistry and you could teach at the school and we'd see each other everyday."

Rey sighed.

"Or study literature. Become an author like your mum. She made a bit of money you know. Have I showed you her books... Rey?"

Rey looked down.

"I've had my plan for a long time. I can't change it..... I'm sorry. I'll hopefully get an internship at the hospital nearby the school.... when I leave med-school. It wouldn't be so bad then."

"People die in hospitals." Luke said softly. "You might not cope. You might get angry..."

"I will be fine. In my orphanage we all had a plan. If you get As. You become a doctor or a vet. I like animals too much that I'd be frozen if one came in hurt. Logical choice to be a surgeon. And when I'm a great surgeon I'll make you so proud! You can say... that's my daughter when I'm getting a Harper Avery. Unless you're ashamed of me."

Luke bowed his head. "I just don't want you to go. We've had so much time stolen from us. It was my fault."

He looked like he was going to cry.

Rey got up and moved to hug him. "I'm never going to leave you. Not permanently. I promise."

"I love you Rey."

"I should hope so or this would really mean I was a thorn in your side."

He chuckled. Rey swallowed, feeling terrible that she couldn't bring herself to tell him she loved him back. He was her father and they'd only just got started. She'd been waiting on family for a long time. She couldn't help thinking that it'd be lost if she started to let it sink in.

Because maybe if Rey told her dad that she'd been waiting on for years that she loved him, then maybe he'd go away and disappear like smoke and leave her again.

"Rey...can I ask you something?" her dad asked.

She pulled away to look at him.

"Are you a lesbian?"

"What?" Rey chuckled out in shock. "I.... I don't even know. What made you think this?"

"It's just.... you seem very.... you seem to like Amethyst a lot."

"Oh. We're friends."

"It's okay if you are. I am with you ...."

"Thanks. That's good to know." Rey replied.

She started laughing uncontrollably. "I'm going to be a top surgeon. I"ve not got time for that." Rey replied.

Rey went to leave.

"Rey." he called her back.

"Yes father."

"You shouldn't get into as many fights as you do with people. You could break your hands and you need them for surgery." he stated.

"Gotcha." she winked and gave him some thumbs up, clicking her tongue for a effect.