I was sleeping when I heard a bang at the door. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up at seaton. I thought he would have left. The banging continued and he continued to sleep. I let his hand go and slowly got out the bed then I opened the door and walked down the hall. I walked over to the window and sighed when I seen Ahmad's car. I went over to the door and unlocked it then opened it. "What the fuck was you doin" he asked as he walked inside. "Sleeping ahmad. It's like 9 in the morning. Only you come over here banging on doors at 9 in the morning" I mumbled. The door closed and I sat on the couch. "Who here" he asked. "Nobody" I lied. He sat down and stared at me and I pushed my hair back. "Why does somebody always have to be here." I said. "Because you a hoe. And you do hoe shit" he said and I rolled my eyes. "I don't come to your house asking who's there. Maybe because I moved on. And I don't have time to worry about you. But worrying about me is your everyday thing. I bet you know what time i go take a piss too" I said. "Yeah" he said. "Anyways I just came by to get my shit" he said. "What shit" I asked and he got up and started to walk down the hall. "What shit are you talking about" I asked and we walked into the room. "Ahmad you needa go" I said and he looked at me. "I was j..." He started to say when I shook my head. "Now" I said. He nodded and walked out the room and I followed him and he walked out the house and I locked the door. I walked back into my room and stood there. I turned around and seen seaton walking in the room as he scratched his head. "Still fuckin wit him huh" he asked while yawning. "No I'm actually not" I said and he went and sat on the bed. He started to put his shoes on and I fiddled with my fingers. "Thanks for staying" I said and he shrugged and nodded. "Where are you going" I asked as he stood up. "I gotta go start packin my shit back up cause me and koby goin back tomorrow" he said and I nodded. He grabbed his keys and his hoodie. "Ima come by before I leave" he said and I nodded as my eyes welled up with tears. "Don't start" He said. "What" I said and he laughed. "Ima be back in three months" he said. "Three months is a long time" I said and he sighed and hugged me and I closed my eyes as he rubbed my back. "I love you ma" he said. "I love you" I said and I kissed his cheek and let him go. "remember what I said ight" he said and I nodded. "I'll let you out" I said and he walked out the room and I followed him. "Ima be by tomorrow" He said. "Why don't you just stay the night again" I asked in a low voice. I looked at him and he smirked. He walked out the house and closed the door and I sighed and pushed my hair back. I went over to the couch and sat down. I stared out into space. My eyes burned because of all the crying that I did last night. It's not easy accepting the fact that the person your in love with no longer wants you back or is in love with you back. Can't force anyone to do anything though or feel anything. All I can do is try my best to get over the whole relationship stage and just deal with being his friend. I'd rather be his friend then to be nothing to him at all. I love Seaton with everything in me. He did for me when nobody else could. He showed me what nobody else can. I'm not just in love with him, I'm crazy in love with him. And I love Koby just like he's my own. This thing that me and Seaton had going on is something that I'm afraid I'll never get back. I just have to deal with it I guess. But I wish I didn't get involved with Ahmad at all. Because I'm literally gonna be dealing with him and his bullshit forever. I got dressed then headed to Angel and Jacari's. I made it there and got out the car then I knocked on the door. I waited a few seconds then the door opened and I seen Jacari. "Wassup" he said as he hugged me. "She in the kitchen" he said as he let me inside. I nodded and when I walked in the living room I seen everybody sitting there. Including Seaton. "Wassup mariah" jamere said and I smirked. "Hey" I said and everybody else spoke too. I looked at Seaton and smirked and he gave me a small smirk and continued to play cards. "Hellllo" I said as I walked in the kitchen. "Wassup" she said. "What ya doin" I asked as I sat at the island. "Getting this shit together for them. Grown ass men act like they can't get their own shit" she said and I laughed. "Wanna help me take this in there" She asked and I nodded and grabbed a bowl and A thing of beers. We walked out the kitchen and they continued to play cards. She sat the stuff on the table and jacari smirked. "thanks babe" he said and She smirked and pecked his lips. "Aweeeee" Jamere yelled and everybody laughed. I sat the stuff on the table and I felt somebody staring at me. I avoided eye contact because I knew it was Seaton. I feel like he's doing this on purpose. Just to see how I'll react. "Good look yall" Lloyd said to us. I smirked and moved my arm and something knocked over and I sighed. "Sorry" I said to jamere. "It's coo" he said. Seaton got out his chair and angel came back with a towel and I grabbed it but he grabbed it out my hand. "I got you" he said as he wiped the beer up. "I got you" I heard jamere say and they laughed. "Shut the fuck up" Seaton said and they laughed again. "Thanks" I said as he lifted up. He licked his lips and I grabbed the towel and walked away. "Why don't yall just get back together" angel asked. "Because he doesn't want me anymore" I said. "Girl bye. All Seaton doin is puttin on a front. Whatever ima be in the living room" Angel said as she walked out the kitchen. I sighed and got my phone out my purse and had 23 missed calls from nobody other than Ahmad. "Wassup" I heard and I turned and seen Seaton. "Hey" I said. "Wassup wit you" he asked. "Nothing" I said and he nodded. "You" I asked. "Not shit" he said and I nodded. It was silent in here. Only thing I heard was everybody in the other room laughing. "Well I was just checkin on you" he said and I nodded and he walked out. I sighed and a few seconds later I walked out too. "Yo mariah come ere" Jamere said and I walked over to the table. They all looked at me. "You still fuck wit Ahmad" he asked. "What made you ask that" I asked. "Oh I was just askin" he said and I nodded. "No I'm not with him." I said and he nodded. "He wit you huh" jacari said and I looked at him. "Everybody know ahmad not gone leave you alone." He said. "Lil Nigga mad crazy" Lloyd said and I glanced at Seaton and he was texting on his phone. "I mean. He comes around but I don't want him around. He just pops up" I said. "Stalker like shit" kj said and I nodded. "Yeah basically" I said. Seaton's phone rung and he walked out the room. "Don't be cryin over that lame ass nigga" jamere said and we all laughed. He came back out the kitchen and he had this look on his face that I couldn't explain. "Wassup" Kj asked. "I gotta go" he mumbled. "What the fuck happened" jamere asked. "Koby man" he said in a cracked voice as he walked away. We all got up and followed him. "Angel lets go" jacari yelled. I opened the passenger side door to seaton's car and got in. He sped off soon as I got in , I didn't even get to shut the door all the way. "Seaton" I said. "What happened" I asked. I love koby so much I swear I do. I hope it isn't that serious. I glanced at him and he had a frown on his face. "Seaton" I said. "Pleas.." I started to say when he looked at me. "Somebody shot koby" he said. "Ashanti just called me and said he was outside in the drive way and she heard gunshots. She said she ran outside and koby was layin there wit a bullet in his chest" he said as he sped up. My eyes watered up. "I can't lose koby mariah." He said. "I can't. Cause lord knows if my kid don't be alright everybody and they family gettin killed. Babies, grandmas. Shit I don't care" he said and I knew he was serious too. "It's gonna be okay" I said through tears and he ignored me. We made it to the hospital and everybody got out their cars. Soon as we walked in Ashanti ran over to seaton and he wrapped his arms around her. "What happened" he asked. "Seaton I don't know who it was. He was playing basketball and I was cooking and I heard gunshots and I ran outside and seen koby laying there. I'm sorry seaton I swear. I just want my baby to be okay. That's all I want. Can you make sure he's gonna be okay because I can't lose my baby" she said through tears and he nodded and rubbed her back. I was lost and confused. The tears fell and I guess angel seen me falling apart because she walked over and pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back and started to cry. "Its gone be okay" she said as she rubbed my back. "Koby Banks" the doctor said and I let angel go and seaton and ashanti walked over to the doctor. "Wassup" Seaton asked. "Due to the gunshot wounds , Koby didn't make it. We did all...." He started to say when Seaton turned and walked away. Ashanti started to cry and she dropped to the floor and Jamere walked over to her and kneeled down. My heart broke into pieces. Koby made everything better when he was around. He was a good kid and I knew for sure he had something good for him in his future. We all sat in the waiting room in silence other than ashanti's cries. I know it has to hurt her because it's hurting me. I called a cab to get me so I could get dropped off to my car. "gonna go home" I said in a low voice as I stood up. "Ight mariah be safe" Jacari said as he stood up and hugged me. "Where's seaton" I asked. "He out there. But I think it a be best off if you leave him be. This shit really broke his heart and I know my mans aint in the right state of mind" he said and I nodded. He kissed my cheek and everybody else stood up and hugged me too. I walked over to ashanti and she opened her arms and I hugged her. "i'm so sorry" I said and she nodded and rubbed my back. I kissed her cheek and she let me go. "Thank you" she said in a cracked voice. I turned and walked away. I walked out the hospital and seaton was sitting on the bench. "I'm sorry" I said and he glanced at me then looked away. I walked away and got in the cab and he drove off. I got to my car and headed home . And when I got there I went into my room and cried. Cried until there was no tears left for me to drop. I turned off the light and laid down and then I heard a knock at the door. It was probably ahmad. I ignored it and heard it again 5 minutes later. I got out the bed and turned on the light and walked down the hall to the door. "Who is it" I asked and nobody answered. I sighed and opened the door and I seen Seaton. He stared at me and I seen all the hurt and pain in his eyes. "Come on" I said and he walked in. I locked the door and he stared out into space. He followed me to my room and He sat on the bed and I stood by the door. "How" he asked. "I just wanna know how and why" he said as he shook his head. "This life shit not for me yo it aint. This shit not right. I made a promise to myself that ashanti was gone have to bury me before she ever have to see koby get lowered down into the ground but man I just wanna know how. My kid was a good kid. He was doin good in school, he was good at basketball and shit..." He said in a cracked voice. "Why mariah" he asked as he looked up at me. "Why" he asked as the tears fell. I walked over to him and he started to cry more. Soon after his cries turned into sobs. Seeing him cry made me cry. I pulled him into a hug and he held onto me and everytime he let out a sob he squeezed me tighter. "I love you so much. I don't even know what to say. My heart is so broken" I said through tears. I rubbed his back as he continued to cry. I calmed him down a little bit and like a hour later he stopped crying. I took his shirt off and he stared at the floor. I removed all his chains and sat them on the dresser and I took his watch off and sat it down too. "Come on" I said as I grabbed his hand. He stood up and we walked into the bathroom and I turned the shower on. I got undressed and stepped into the shower and he undressed and got in too. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back. I kissed his cheek and he held onto me tighter. I grabbed the wash cloth and the soap and started to wash him up. I let him go and he stared down at me as I washed him up. I looked up into his eyes and it made my eyes water up. He was so hurt. I never seen seaton like this before. I've never seen him cry before. I know at times he wanted to but he remained calm. His lip started to tremble and he looked away from me. I grabbed his face and he looked at me. I stood on my tippy toes and pecked his lips and he stared at me. "I love you" I said. "I love you too" he said. He put my back against the shower wall and he opened my legs. He slid his self inside me and I gasped and he put his face in the crook of my neck. He sped up and went deeper. "Seaton" I said as I tried to push him out. He kept going. "Seaton stop" I said and he stopped and looked at me. He started to cry again and then he moved and stepped out the shower. I washed up then turned the water off and then I stepped out and went into the room. He was sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I sat next to him and he looked at me. "I'm sorry ma" he said. "For what" I asked. "Everything. All the shit I put you through. I was confused as fuck. Thought I aint want or need nothin when in reality you all I want and need." He said. "Don't worry about that right now. It's fine." I said. He nodded and looked at the ground and sighed. "Damn" he mumbled while shaking his head. I rubbed his back and stared at him. I heard the thunder from outside and he laughed. "That might be koby tellin me to shut the fuck up" he said through laughs and I laughed and smirked. "You gonna go check on ashanti" I asked. "Nah not tonight. Maybe in the morning. I know she don't wanna talk right now" he said and I nodded. He looked at me and I smirked. He shook his head as he stared at me then he looked away. I grabbed his hand and he brought mine up to his lips and kissed it. I let go and pulled the cover back and laid down. He turned off the light and laid next to me. He turned and looked at me and I smirked at him. He licked his lips and I smiled and he smirked. "All I needed to see" he said. He got ontop of me and kissed my neck. He slid his self inside me and I dug my nails into his back. He was taking his time, actually was going at the pace I wanted him to. He went deeper and I bit my lip. "Speed up a little" I said and he did what I said. He held onto my thigh and pushed my leg back so he could go deeper. "Oh my god" I moaned out as he sped up some more. "You love me" he asked. "I love you baby" I cried out. "I love you too" he said into my ear. He kissed my neck and kept going. I felt myself getting hot. He dug deeper and his body jerked and mine did too. He laid ontop of me while breathing heavily. I rubbed his back and played with his hair with my other hand. I kissed the top of his head and he held onto me tighter. "Don't leave me" he mumbled. "I won't I promise" I said as I kissed his cheek. He nodded and soon after I heard his snores. I watched him sleep until my eyes got heavy and I drifted off to sleep too.
