"Where is you takin me Mariah" I asked her as she drove. "Just relax. We're almost there" she said and I sighed and looked out the window. My eyebrows started to furrow when we came in the sight of headstones everywhere and I looked at her and she turned the car off and looked at me. "What we here for" I asked. "To pay Koby and your mom a visit" she said. "You can take me back home" I said and she shook her head. "Whens the last time you came here" she asked. I mugged her and shrugged. "Exactly" she said and she opened her door and got out and I sighed and reached for the door handle and got out too. I slid my hands in my jacket pocket and looked around as we walked. "I ont even remember where they buried him at" I said. "I do" she said. "How" I asked. "I come here every night" she said. "To see who" I asked. "Koby" she said as she continued to walk. I stared at her and I felt a smile come up on my face but I wiped it off. We made it to his headstone and I stayed a couple steps back as I watched her go up to it. She looked at me and I stared at her. "Come on" she said. "I'm close enough" I said. "Seaton" she said. I slowly walked up to it and I stared at it. "There's nobody else here but me and you" she said and I kept my eyes on his headstone cause til this day I still can't believe it. "And I think you have a lot to say to Koby, so go ahead" she said. I scratched the side of my head and squinted my eyes. "Take your time" she said. I cleared my throat and licked my lips. "I um" I started to say. "I know I ain't been here in a while. I'm sorry I ain't been here. And I'm missin you like crazy son I feel like if you was here none of this would be goin on. Life been doin me so dirty, I been so focused on that man I ain't even been focusin on you and I feel like a bad father" I said. "Well I am a bad father cause look where you at" I said. "It's a bittersweet moment man ya birthday on saturday and wit you turnin 15 and all I know you a wanna kick it wit me" I said through laughs and I glanced at Mariah and she was smilin. I looked away and smirked. "I love you." I said in a cracked voice. "And I know I never told you a lot when you was here but I love you more than anything in the world" I said. I kissed my fingers and touched his headstone and I turned and walked away. I went and got in the car and I stared out the window. She got in the car and drove off and it was quiet until she spoke. "You okay" she asked. "I'm ight" I said. She reached over and grabbed my hand and I looked down and she held onto it. I squeezed hers and looked back out the window. "You talk to ya mans" I asked. "Yes" she said as she stared at the road. She continued to hold onto my hand and I nodded. "We got into an argument. And he got everything he wanted to say off of his chest, stuff I knew he wanted to say but he had it bottled up for a while. We've made the decision to call it quits and get a divorce" she said and I looked at her. "Damn" I said. "It's for the best so you know" she said and I slowly nodded as I stared at the side of her face. "You gone be ight" I asked and she nodded. "Of course" she said but I knew she was lyin. The look on her face told me all that I needed to know. I just ain't know what to do that was gone help her get over it. I looked away from her and she let my hand go and cleared her throat. "I have somewhere else to take you" she said. I sighed and she laughed. "You'll like it" she said. "I ont like nothin" I said. "You'll like this" she said. I let out a loud laugh when we pulled up in front of aunt Jen's and she laughed too. I looked at her and continued to laugh. "What you trynna do" I asked through laughs and she laughed. "I'm just trying to uplift your spirits. Get you back where you need to be, I'm just going down memory lane" she said and I laughed and nodded. "Man I ain't been here in a while. It seem like since I got older shit changed and I forgot about a lot of shit I used to be into" I said. "That happens" She said. "But we're gonna get even more older so let's try not to forget all the way" she said. She smirked at me and we got out the car and walked inside. Aunt Jen passed two years after my moms passed but luckily her daughters still work here and they make sure the food good and they make sure they cook it like they moms did. I spoke to them then we went and got seated, it's funny cause it was the same spot we sat in a few years back, this was where everything basically started, At Aunt Jens. "What can I get for you" sonya asked. "You know what I want" I said and she smiled and nodded. "And you" she asked Mariah. "Same thing" she said. She smirked and walked away and I cleared my throat and rubbed my hand over my face. I felt her starin at me so I looked at her and she was. "What" I asked. "Nothing" she said as she smirked and shook her head. "So why you starin" I asked. "Because you look so different, so much older" she said and I laughed. "I think I see a wrinkle on yo face too" I said and she rolled her eyes and laughed. "The older I get the more my looks improve." I said as I sipped from my straw. She slowly nodded. "I'll give you that" she said and I nodded. "Cause you know it's true" I said. "You on the other hand" I said. "I ont think yo looks a ever change and that's a good thing ma you still look young" I said. "Good" she said through laughs. I smirked and looked out the window and she grabbed both of my hands makin me look at her. "I'm sorry that your hurting right now" she said and I looked down and nodded. "It feel like somebody took my oxygen away" I said as I looked up at her. She stared at me and her face went soft. "I know the feeling" she said and I nodded and held back the tears that was tryin to fall. I cleared my throat and she continued to hold onto my hands. "Ever since I been out of jail some fucked up shit been happenin. I just don't know how the fuck I lost my son though" I said. "I still don't know. Apart of me is apart of him so when they killed him they killed me too. And it hurt cause I ont know who did it. I just put the blame on everybody else." I said. "I'm not the same man I was. i changed and it's not for the better. I'm fucked up right now mariah. I don't know when Ima get better. My sister think I should go to counselin but that shit won't help. Atleast I don't think it will" I said. "I ont know. I'm just tired of seein they faces everytime I close my eyes." I said. "I think counseling will be good for you and if you feel like you can't do it alone I'll go with you. We can go today and set up an appointment for whenever" she said. "I just need time to think about it" I said. "Take your time" she said and I stared at her as she let my hands go when the waitress came. She sat our food in front of us and we ate then we headed out. We pulled up to my house and she looked at me and smiled. "Was today fun" she asked and I laughed. "It was coo" I said. "That's good enough huh" She asked and I nodded. "Thank you ma" I said. "For everything" I said and she smiled and leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I'll come check on you after work tomorrow" she said and I nodded. "Love ya" she said. "I love you too" I said and I got out the car and she pulled off. I sighed and walked in the house and went straight to sleep.
