50 Shades of Lambert (Adam Lambert)

Chapter 19: Moving On

Adam's POV:
I look at the waves washing the shore and the sun rays shining in my eyes. I look to my left and see a woman walking along the empty beach, feet in the water and her blonde hair dancing in the breeze. She turns around and looks at me in a serious look. I look at her and smile, she smiles back.
She waves telling me to join her so I begin to run up to her.
"How's the water?" I ask as I avoid the wave.
"It's pretty warm."
"Ya... Why don't you go for a swim?"
"I wish. Don't wanna get wet now. We'll be leaving in a bit anyway." She refuses.
I look at her and splash her with water and she backs off.
"What?! Oh my god Adam!" She squeals.
"Haha!" I begin to run and she chases me.
She finally catches up and tackles me to the ground filling my mouth with sand.
I push her over and get up trying to escape her.
"Stop!" She shouts after me.
"Come on! Let's race!!" I suggest.
We both run along the shore laughing, my lungs burning as I gasp for air to keep up.

"I should call my mom and ask her how she and Danny are" Anna takes her phone out as we walk inside the hotel room.
"Sure. I'll go shower." I walk inside to bathroom.
I turn the water on and it runs on my face, relieving myself after a long day at the beach. First time on vacation in a long time. Getting my mind off of all the business.
I begin to rub my body with soap and let hot water run on me.
I let my head fall backwards as I let out a sigh, enjoying the burn.
I take my hand down to my body and begin to rub it softly. I feel a slight pleasure so I begin to to rub my cock even faster until I feel hot and hard and finally cum, feeling my entire body with shock. I let out a moan and I look at the wall wishing I could have someone with me right now.
I turn the shower water off and walk naked to grab my towel, seeing the drops running down my chest.
I walk out of the bathroom and grab my clothes from the closet and begin to dress.
I lie on the bed, in the white and fresh sheets that help me fall asleep with their coziness.
I see darkness and then...

"Catch me Adam!!!" Yells a girl running away from me. Her dark hair dancing in front of me. As it seems so close to me I reach out to grab it but it slips through my fingers.
"Adam hurry up!" She keeps shouting.
"I'm trying! Stop!" I see my feet running.
"Catch me! Don't lose me Adam!"
I hear my heart pounding and my breath is getting stronger.
I keep trying to grab her but she keeps slipping out. My heart hurts.
"Stop....running...stop!" I struggle to say as I'm out of breath. I beg her to stop but she won't. All I see is her blue dress slowly disappearing in the distance.
"No! Come back! Wait!" I fall on my knees barely breathing. I begin to cry seeing her hair disappear from my view.
"....LUCY!!"

I wake up, standing up and looking around in shock. I blink a few times trying to process my location and soon I realize it was just a dream, my heart slows down... I feel a tear on my cheek so I wipe it off. Why am I crying?
I lay back down and look at the ceiling putting my hands over my eyes.
I avoid every feeling that goes through me that moment.

"Are you alright?" I hear the door open and Anna standing in the front.
"Yes. Why?"
"You screamed something. Like a name..."
"What name?"
"....You haven't forgotten her have you?"
"I have. It was just a nightmare Anna."
"Okay. But dreams like that happen for a reason."
"I'm trying to love you what more do you want." I snap at her.
"Don't try."
"What are you talking about?"
"I am a horrible person. I made you be with me. Even though you didn't want."
"Yes. But you made the right choice for Danny."
She puts hair behind her ear and bites her lip.
"Yes. I love you Adam."
I look at her and then out the window.
"I... Don't and you know it. You're my friend. Nothing more."
"Oh... I know...." She gets up and leaves.
I'm so stupid. For a moment I allowed myself to fall flirtatiously for Anna, imaging it's Lucy, forgetting completely about what Anna did to me. This dream brought back all the feelings and memories I had been suppressing. I remember her. Lucy. I bury my face in my pillow and let my tears run.

I still remember you Lucy. Do you remember me?

I lay there for a moment.

I get up to find the hotel room empty. I don't care where Anna went, as long as she's gone. I take out a bottle of whiskey and drink from the bottle, feeling it burn my heart.
I feel like shit. Again. It's been so long. Why. I keep replaying the dream in my head. She kept running away from me, like she didn't want me, no matter how hard I tried to get her back. It means a lot.
What is she doing now. I can't keep thinking about her because it makes me feel worse. I close my eyes and imagine her walking on the beach holding someone by the hand... She seems happy. I have to be happy too.
I am happy. With Anna. I have a friend and a son. I have to.
For a moment I thought I had forgotten her. Why god, why did I have that dream. The thoughts begin to diminish as I drift off to sleep.... Drunk in so long.

"I need you!"
"Why do you keep running from me?"
"I have to."

I wake up again. I scream as I get up and throw my bottle of whiskey at the door, seeing the glass shatter.
I feel myself drowning on something unreal.
"ARE YOU CRAZY?" Anna walks in.
"Get out!"
"Why? I wanna help you!"
"I hate you!" I sob in my arms.
"What.......?" She stares at me in disbelieve.
"It's your fault!"
"What? Why?"
"Leave me alone." I rush out the door and push her out of the way.
"Adam wait! Where are you going" Anna runs after me. I run faster. I run down the stairs of the hotel, seeing them moving, in my dizzy drunk mind. I see them multiply and all of a sudden I see black before my eyes and I miss a step. I feel my body rolling down the hard steps until I feel no more pain and my dizzy mind blacks out.
"ADAM!" I hear a faded voice but it disappears and I forget where I am.
It's dark.
*************************************

Beep , beep, beep...
I open my eyes and see a white ceiling with machines working around me.
I look at my wrist and it's attached to a machine to my side.
I close my eyes.

"How are you?" I open my eyes to see Anna.
"what happened?"
"You fell down the stairs. Your leg is broken" she tells me.
I look at my leg covered in a cast. I roll my eyes.
"..." I try to sleep.
"What's happening to you?" She asks.
I ignore her in silence.
My heart hurts more.
I attempt to roll over to my side and turn my back to her.
She gets the hint and leaves.