Bite my tongue < Calum Hood

Chapter 10

As we'd promised ash and Luke , we were going bowling. I ran the curler brush through my hair for the last time and made sure I looked okay in the mirror. I was wearing black ripped jeans and a grey loose jumper.
I looked over and Calum who was wearing black jeans and a denim top. He looked so hot. He caught me staring at him as he ran his hands through my hair. He smiled , blushing a little.
I got up , putting on Max's lead. He tagged along in the background.
Calum stood up and followed me out. We locked the door and ash was waiting in his car outside. "Hey" he smiled hugging us. Luke got out and joined the hug.
After standing there lifeless for a while , laughing we decided it was best to go.
I sat in the car next to Calum. Stroking Max's head. Ashton began to drive and just as we reached the street of his house , Calum's phone popped up with a new message. I sneakily looked at the screen and my heart stopped. A name popped up saying Natasha ... The message read : Hey cal pal !! Long time no see , wanna meet up for coffee at 4 ?
I remained quiet watching him , although he didn't realise it. He replied ... Oh hey ! Can't sorry I'm out
She replied : Aww come on baby ....

I lost it I didn't want to even be here. "Who's that" I asked. "No one" he blushed chucking his phone on his lap. "Who's Natasha ?" I asked my heart dropping... "Er no one "
"Natasha Collins .... Your ex ?" Luke asked from the front. Calum eyed him. " I ... Why ... You know what never mind" I slumped. "She's no one" he said touching my arm . I pushed him off , " I don't give a shit , you shouldn't be texting any girl behind my back especially not your ex" I glared at him. "You don't make the rules" he shrugged. "I'm your fucking girlfriend Calum" I gasped. "You believe that" he snickered. I was shocked .... Of course he didn't like me. Tears stung my eyes and just began to spill. "Obviously not ... You text that bitch" I turned my head to look out the window , sobbing as ash and Luke gave each other a concerned look. "Your the bitch calling her a bitch" he screamed at me , flinging his arms in the air. After being beat by dad I hated people shouting at me. My body began to shake. "Ashton stop the car" I sobbed. "I..." He began. "Please" I looked up at him , mascara stains down my cheeks. Calum had a guilty look on his face, as ash stopped the car. I flung open the door and ran down the street. "Shit" Luke cursed.

Luke's POV :

Calum had no right to say that to any girl ... Let alone Iris. He loved her of course he did but that was bang out of order, "shit" I cursed looking at the shaking girl get out the car. For some reason she hated it when people raised there voices ... It was something I'd noticed and meant to ask her about but I felt bad so never did. "You talk to him" I muttered to Ashton as I ran after Iris.
I was out of breath as I caught up with her. She looked so broken and hurt as the makeup stains stained her cheek and her body was shaking.
"Iris boo ?" I asked as I saw her sat on my Ashton's house step. "Luke?" Her voice broke as she looked up. "Come here" I sighed as she stepped over to my arms, I wrapped her in a teddy bear hug and she cried... She cried for what felt like hours as Calum and ash stood watching. I heard ash beating Calum up about it and he made sure Calum felt bad ...
"Dude that was so out of place... Let me tell you something you have a very beautiful girl on your hands that the fans adore and you adore ... She beautiful , outgoing ... Funny and cute and you've let it slip away and I won't lie to you mate , I won't be suprised if she takes her things and leaves you and you might think I'm joking by that was bang out of order, I don't care if that tasha text you first or you had her number or whatever you should of told her to fuck off ... I don't wanna fall out with you your my best mate but I don't know why but you promised you'd never raise your voice at her and you just did ... You terrified her and I have a n idea why she gets scared and I know that you know why it is so why raise your voice and call her a bitch ... I'm not gonna say much more bu you need go home , think about what you've done and hopefully you will realise that you can't lose her mate ..." Ash said with his teeth gritted. A tear dropped From Calum's eye and he slumped his back , slipping his hands into his Jean pockets and walking away. Ash walked over and unlocked his door , ushering us inside before wrapping his arms around us. I felt her little dimples form lightly on her cheeks indicating she was smiling and she felt safe, "I'm sorry guys"she sighed. "I've ruined your day"
"Non sense" I smiled.

Back to Iris :

"You can stay the night" ash offered ... "Thank you" I smiled into his chest. I felt safe and warm in their arms and I didn't want to see Calum so that sounded like an idea.

5 days later .............................................................................................................

I hadn't seen Calum in five days .... Maybe he'd given up on me but Ashton told me he usually gets depressed and doesn't speak for weeks.
I had to go find him. I looked a mess I hadn't left Luke's flannel shirt and joggers for five days and my hair was in a loose bun and I had no makeup on. "I have to find him" I said my voice trembling. "If he's given up I want to know" I sighed. Just as I was about to go upstairs a depressed and tired Calum opened the door and stumbled in. His eyes landed straight on me and his heart dropped. He looked so broken. "We will leave you to talk" ash smiled as him and Luke left the house.
"Ashton told me to think about what I'd done and at first I won't lie I couldn't but then I relapsed what I'd done .... And I don expect you to forgive me and if you did Im luckiest guy in this planet but all I can say is there is no more tasha and you can check and I'm sorry ... I'm sorry for being a dick and I'm sorry for putting you through this ... I understand if you want to leave ... I get it but please stay" he begged. "Cal i ?" I didn't really know what to say ... " I love you Iris and I have since the day I spotted you in the airport and I couldn't help the butterfly's and I'm a screw up ... I fuck things up but I love you ... Please stay" he whispered, I looked up at him as his tears dropped from his clouded eyes. I didn't want to forgive him ... God but you have no idea how hard that was , I was so madly in love with Calum hood and I couldn't stay away.
I just muttered to myself and ran into his arms. He held me like I'd been away for years ... Like you hold a relative when they've been away. He held me so tight and didn't let go. I looked up and cupped his cheek , kissing his lips. He just mashed his lips repeatedly on Mine. "I wanna go home" I smiled. He smiled back taking my hand in his. I ran outside and hugged Luke and Ashton. "Thank you so much" I smiled hugging them tight. They kissed my forehead and then bro hugged Calum as he apologised to them for his behaviour. We walked in silence till we got back to our house. I didn't really know what to say I was still upset but i couldn't stay away from him.
I went up to the bedroom and locked myself in the bathroom , taking a warm shower. I rinsed the water down my body , it felt nice to wash away everything.
I switched off the shower , and pulled on a towel. I sat there for a while , drying and then put on some pjs. I didn't want to disturb Calum if he was sleeping so I crept open the door and peeked through , but I didn't want to see what he was doing ... It broke my heart ....

Calum was laid on the bed , his eyes red and puffy and little sobs escaping his trembling lips. He was clutching a pillow while scrolling down his phone. Tears fell from my eyes , I hated seeing him like this it made me feel awful. I snook through the the bedroom and climbed slowly onto the bed. I scrambled my way up and sat on Calum's lap. He was embarrassed I'd caught him crying and looked away. "Calum baby?" I whispered. He wiped his eyes but still didn't look up. "I hurt you" he mumbled. "No .."
"Don't lie ... Your promised me you wouldn't lie"
"Okay" I mumbled.
I looked at him again and noticed his Long sleeved shirt , he hated long sleeves ... Couldn't stand them ... Please don't tell me he did.
"Can I have your hand" I asked. He finally looked up at me , he looked so terrified. "Please" I whispered. "Don't be mad" his voice broke , trembling and tears falling as his hand slid into mine. I lifted his sleeve back and my heart crawled up to my throat , my eyes became watery and I couldn't breathe. I've never cried like I was in my life ... I'd never been this sorry for someone. I looked at Calum's wrists , lined with deep red cuts , ones slashed by a razor. I ran my finger across them , still choking on the air. I dropped his hand , "oh Calum" I sighed dragging him into my arms. "I thought I'd lost you"
He just cried, "my beautiful angel" I kissed his forehead repeatedly.
We stayed like this for so long then I put on a Disney movie and played big spoon for the night. He lay between my arms and I held him as tight as I possibly could. I ran my fingers gently through his hair , and stroking his jawline.
I fell asleep tightly cuddled up with Calum.