Remember Me This Way

Deleted Scene - 4

Hya

I took a quick shower pagkatapos ay pinatuyo ko ang buhok ko sa electric fan sa loob ng kwarto ko.

My phone notified that a message was received. Hinugot ko agad sa charger and checked who was it from.

Aric Padilla
+639178213509
"There's always a rainbow after but you'll always have me through the rain. Goodnight Hya, I'm home."

I took my journal out of my bag and opened it on the first page. Kailan ba ako nag simulang mag sulat dito? I think it was that time na lumipat ako ng school at wala akong kakilala. The year my parents died.

I was selectively reading my entries since I started to write and as I turned to the further pages I saw a familiar name that had my hand writing.

"...may narinig akong boses na nagpagaan ng loob ko. It turned out to be,he's my classmate. Aric ang pangalan. I loved his singing voice. That's why this is my favorite spot too kasi naririnig ko nag boses niya pag tumutugtog sila. I feel comforted."

Naalala ko, sa dalas kong nandoon sa likod ng building kung saan sila nag papractice napansin kong lagi na rin siyang naka tingin sa akin. I brushed it off, and that's when I started feeling annoyed by him.

Naasiwa ako, na conscious sa paraan ng pagtingin niya sa akin. And then he started making conversations with me. He always calls my name and I frown as a response.

Gusto ko siyang iwasan, saka ako naghanap ng ibang lugar na pwedeng tambayan para di ko siya makita. I went to the rooftop, sa dulo ng backfield, sa tabi ng Chapel pero I didn't find peace in those places. Kahit tahimik ang lugar, hindi ako makapagisip. I was not comfortable so I came back to that place. Sa lumang bench sa may puno na nasa likod ng St. Francis Building.

Everyday, I heard him sing and I saw him look at me and I felt comforted. I've always kept it inside me and I've sworn that no one will find out that I felt that way until one day narinig ko mismo sa bibig niya ang mga salitang "Dahil gusto kita."

Naririnig ko na matagal na tinutukso siya sa akin ng mga kaibigan niya pero di ko pinapansin, ayokong pansinin dahil sa loob ko may nabubuhay ring pakiramdam na bago sa akin.

Pero bago pa man niya sinabi sa akin ng direcho na gusto niya ako, ay madalas ko na siyang nababanggit sa sinusulat ko. Minsan hindi ko na namamalayan na tungkol na pala sa kanya ang sinasabi ko.

The time he gave me that small piece of paper with a written lyrics that I crumpled and threw then picked up again. The time I caught him following me way home that became a habit for him, I wondered when he started doing it. The times he went looking for me at the end of the library to wake me up and sometimes he leaves me sleeping. Pag gising ko may juice at sandwich na sa tabi ko. No note but I knew it was him because I was awake one time when he sat beside me. I feigned sleep.

I turned another page.

Dated November 25 I wrote a short sentence that brought me back to a favorite memory. "I think I love you too, A."

It was last week of November, sa usual spot ko sa library, a month before he told me face to face that he liked me.

Naka earphones ako so he thought I wouldn't hear and I was asleep. I felt him sat beside me, nilapag niya ang bag niya sa mesa. I knew he was staring. I wasn't sure if I blushed basta nagkunyari akong tulog. Then all of a sudden he started strumming and he started singing.

🎶 Fallin out, fallin in
Nothin's sure in this world, no no
Breakin out, breakin in
Never knowin what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no, no, no🎶