Remember Me This Way

10 - "ISGFTTOU"

Hya

I sat across Dr. Henry Lucas. Kaibigan siya ni Kuya Lue, almost same age as he is but taller. Nasa labas si Kuya Lue at hinihintay akong matapos. I requested for patient's confidentiality because I didn't want anyone to know if ever something bad will come out of this. Kailangan ako muna ang makakatanggap sa sitwasyon, bago oa malaman ng iba.

"After we've run some tests on you, everything is within normal except for one..." he stops and my heart seems to follow his pause. "We have detected hCG through the blood test that I required." he leans his two elbows over the glass covered table then he looks at me with a smile on a blank expression.

"Is it something serious?" I gulped.

"No...no...no..." umiling siya and revealing a smile. Matatanggal yata ang baga ko sa lakas ng paghinga ko sa loob loob ko. Why is he smiling if he has found something not right in my blood test?

"Based sa mga ibang sintomas mo...like biglang pagkahilo, nasusuka ka, mood swings and as you said di ka pa nagkakaroon...wala naman magiging problema, unless a baby will affect your career." doon na tuluyang ngumiti ang doctor sa akin. Medyo nag hang ang parteng iyon sa sinabi niya. "You're pregnant, we'll have to do an ultrasound to see how far along are you." he dropped it just like that. My heart fell and I felt it dribble inside my chest. I'm pregnant? I have a baby inside of me?

"I'm pregnant?" hindi pa ako makapaniwala "Lahat po ba ng buntis pinagdadaanan ito? I mean yung pagiging makakalimutan ko, I have times when I feel I am disoriented...normal po ba to Doc?" sunod sunod kong tanong.

"Well, honestly that's another thing."

"Ano pong ibig niyong sabihin?" I clutched my bag on my hand tightly.

"I don't want to scare you or to give you false diagnosis as of the moment. You're in your mid 20's and it's very rare to find it here in the country, I'm just not quite sure yet. Gusto ko pang ipatest ka pa para mas ma determine ko ang cause ng short memory loss mo, as you said madalas na mangyari sayo." the doctor said to me.

"Bakit po Doc? Hindi po ba dahil to sa pagbubuntis ko? Or sa stress or baka lang--" tumigil ako sa pagsasalita "May sakit po ba ako?"

He moved to rest on his back on his chair and positioned himself to look at me. He kept looking at me and scared the hell out of me before he decided to talk again "Sa mga sintomas at mga nakita ko sayo sa neurological exam mo, you might be suffering an early on set of Alzheimer's."

"Alzheimer's?" sabi ko na parang mali yata ang sinabi niya o di kaya ang dinig ko.

"It's still isn't proven yet Hya. Pero as you said you've been experiencing memory loss or disorientation at times...mga gaano katagal mo na ba ito nararamdaman?"

"Ahm...a c-couple of days?" pagsisinungaling ko kahit ang totoo niyan mga ilang buwan ko ng nilalabanan to. "Doc, di ba po sakit po yan ng mga matatanda? Paano pong may ganun ako?"

"Hya, don't overthink yet. Di pa ako sigurado sa bagay na yan, kailangan mo pang bumalik to undergo series of tests. I'll tell Lue to schedule you an appointment within this week..." he tells me. I didn't leave my eyes that were blankly staring at him as he speaks.

"Sa ngayon ang dapat mong gawin ay kumunsulta ng OB para sa pagbubuntis mo. Sa sunod na pagpunta mo dito,I hope you don't mind me saying this. Isama mo yung boyfriend mo." he eyed my hand that didn't have a wedding ring yet only the engagement ring Aric gave me.

"Can't I follow up on my own Doc?"

"Hya. Mas makakabuti kung may kasama ka so that he'll know how you are doing. If the worst may happen at masasabi kong iyon nga ang sakit mo, you'll need help." he says comfortingly.