No Control

All The Pain & The Truth

Hey guys! Here's another chapter!

(May be triggering when Zayn talks about Harry)

Chapter 3:

LOUIS

He looked beautiful. Even more beautiful than before. His curly hair grew out a lot, falling in curly ringlets around his face. He wore a long coat, but his legs were still long enough to show at the bottom of it- long, perfect legs that seemed to be covered in skin tight jeans. He also wore boots. Brown boots, and it made me wonder what he was doing in life now.

I watched him from afar, the car I was in I bought with the money I still had in the bank. I needed a way to get around- a way to see if Harry was okay. Because I missed him. Because I loved him. He was my everything.

Five years. A lot can change in five years, but my love for him hasn't. He kept me going in prison. The thought of him did. I sometimes forget who I was and turned into that angry person that all of the jailmates feared, but the thought Harry would remind me that I had a heart. I had other emotions. I just didn't let them show. Only I knew. Liam and I knew.

I was happy for Liam. He was probably with Zayn right now. I left him earlier this morning, not telling him where I was going, but I was here now, and I couldn't deny the fluttering in my heart at how beautiful Harry looked.

He stopped walking to his car and I saw him look around. I ducked down in my car and hid, hoping he wouldn't see me. Eventhough I wanted him. I needed him, but I wasn't ready for confrontation. I don't think either of us were.

He turned back around and walked to his car. I gave a sigh of relief before starting my car as well. I waited until he backed out of his driveway and drove a bit away before I pulled away from the curb and followed right behind him. I was curious on where he was going.

I followed a bit behind him, never losing sight of his car. We drove onto a highway, and I noticed Harry's driving getting a bit shaky. It concerned me a lot. The last thing I wanted was for him to get in an accident. I have no idea how I would react.

Then I saw Harry pull over on the side of the road, and I pulled over on the opposite side, a little further back from where he was. I looked closely at what he was doing, squinting my eyes to try and see, and it broke my heart that he was crying. Not just a few teats falling, but a lot. So many. Just like the day I told him I didn't love him. A waterfall of heartbreak and dispair. It hurt to know I probably got him here- caused it.

But maybe I didn't. Maybe he was upset about something because the chances of him still thinking about me were slim. Very slim. Still, it hurt me to see him look so broken.

What if someone else hurt him? What if he was with someone, but they hurt him? The thought of him being with someone else hurt me also, but if they hurt him I wouldn't hesitate to make them feel physical pain. I hurt Harry, but I wish I never did. I wish I never made the mistakes I did. I would take it all back in a heartbeat.

Harry's car started up again, but I couldn't follow him anymore. The longing pain in my gut was just too much. I craved him so badly, but I couldn't be near him, not with how badly I've hurt him. Sure, I'll be around. I'll watch over him and make sure he's okay, but I'm bad for him.

I turned my car around, making a few cars honk at me as I switched lanes and began to drive to Zayn's place. Liam texted me the address he got from him, and I just needed to ask Zayn some questions. I needed to know how Harry's been these past five years.

I sped up a bit, not going too far over the speed limit, but definitely passing it. I just needed to know. I missed five years of his life, and I needed to know things about what has been going on.