No Control

Good Life

Guys, we are super close to the end. I'm going to say about two more chapters and then an epilogue. That's an estimation.

Sorry this took so long. Enjoy :)

Chapter 73:

5 Months Later

HARRY

"I think I'm ready." I said, looking up at Louis. We were laying in bed, trying our best to ignore the sunlight that was streaming through the edges of the curtains. It was only seven, and we already opted to have a lazy Sunday the night before. We deserved as much.

"Ready for what, darling?" He asked, shifting a bit, and I smiled as he kissed my head and sighed. I felt the rise and fall of his chest beneath my head as he did so, and the little way his heart beat sped up for a few seconds of his joy.

"Ready to finally start a family with you." I confessed, watching as a beautiful smile graced his features before he was pulling me into a tight hug, laughing in happiness and disbelief. And I truly felt happy.

It's been months and months of therapy and struggle. We've had our fights and fallouts, we've split up more times than I could count, but it only left the both of us broken for that short period of time. We couldn't last a day without each other, but I liked it that way.

Maybe I still wasn't in a place that was considered as independent and loving toward myself, but I was doing better than ever before. Because I liked my eyes. I liked my smile. I liked my hands. I found beauty in my paler skin tone. The list of things I hated was slowly shortening, but it was still there nonetheless, and I've had a few breakdowns, but Louis and Dr. McKinney were right by my side.

Niall even helped me improve. We finally had a talk, about everything and anything that happened in the past between us. And he told me he still loved me but that he couldn't love me like he loved Erik. And I am happy he found who he was meant for. And I was happy that he had someone to hold him and love him throughout his mum's funeral, keeping him strong at an emotional time. Because I couldn't be that person.

Zayn was also getting better. He was improving at a slower pace than I was, but improving nonetheless. He's had a few breakdowns, but he always comes back from them. And I knew it was hard for him, never having true closure from his sister and no contact with his family. I at least had contact with mine.

Our relationship was tense, my mum, dad, and I, but I forgave them. I forgave them because if I didn't I would only be stuck in the exact same place I've always lived. It wasn't a natural relationship, but at least it was a functioning one. I don't think it will ever be the same, but I do think they understand that.

"You want to start a family?" Louis asked, and I nodded, the wide smile never leaving his face, and it was such a beautiful smile. I don't think anyone was as beautiful as this man who decided he wanted to spend his life with me. He could have had anyone else, anyone at all, but he chose me, and there's something beautiful in that itself.

"I figured since I'm getting better, since things have been quiet for a while, why not? That is... if you're ready, too." I said, not trying to rush him into anything he didn't want. I never wanted to be that person to do that when it's all I've known my whole life.

"Of course I'm ready." Louis said, moving stray pieces of hair from my face and pressing a small kiss to my lips. "I am madly in love with you, and there's nobody else I'd rather have a family with." He promised, making me blush and look down between us to where he intertwined our fingers.

"I'm so proud of you, Harry." He said, and I would never get over how good it felt to know that. "You're so strong. Beautiful inside and out."

I did my best to believe the words now, to take it all to heart instead of pushing them away. I has to learn not to mentally insult myself everytime Louis complimented me, and it was a difficult process, but I was getting better at accepting his words as truth.