No Control

You Can Break Everything I Am

WARNING: The story Liam tells may be triggering. Please read with caution and know that I love you all 💕

Chapter 26:

LIAM

I walked into the house, holding the bags that contained our lunch in them. I've been thinking about what I needed to tell Zayn, and I was quite nervous. It was something I never really told anyone, not even Louis. I never told him exactly what happened the night I was thrown out of my house. It was a memory I had hoped to suppress and never visit again.

I was going to tell Zayn what happened. I was going to tell him in hopes that he would trust me more. I hoped he would trust me enough to tell me his secret. Yes, I was terrified to tell him because I didn't want him to see me any different, but I was willing to risk it.

I set down the bag of food on the table and set my keys down right beside them. "Li, is that you?" I heard Zayn call from the bedroom. He was probably still lying in bed. I didn't want to wake him this morning because my nerves were getting to me, and I didn't want to chicken out of doing this. Besides, neither of us worked today.

"Yeah, want me to bring you your food?" I called out, waiting for his response.

"No. Can you please just come here?" He asked, and I smiled a bit before I let go of the food and walked down the hallway. I still had my coat on, but it was just really warm, too warm to take off.

I made it to the room, being right about Zayn still being in bed. He was only in boxers from last night, and the sight of him was incredible. The blanket was only covering him from his waist down, and his tan skin was a lovely contrast from his light sheets. He was just so beautiful.

He looked up at me with tired eyes and laid his head back down, patting the slot next to him where I usually slept. "C'mere. Come lay down." He mumbled out, and it was too adorable to say no to, so I walked over, taking off my coat and shoes before getting back under the covers.

"Why do you have clothes on?" He asked as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. He laid his head down on my chest, and I smirked at his words.

"Would you rather have me walking out to get food naked?" I asked, knowing that would be a horrible thing. One, it was quite cold outside as of now, and two, I wasn't one for public nudity. Nobody had to see that.

"Mmm, no. As hot as you are, that's for me to see only. No one else." He muttered before pressing a kiss to my neck and nuzzling his nose against the side of it. He was acting very cute and cuddly, and I knew why. It was his way of shrugging off the fights we had, his way of showing that he did love me, and his way of putting off the conversations I knew we needed to have.

"Good because I'd rather not freeze my dick off. It's getting colder outside every single day." I commented, and I couldn't stop the smile that made its way on my face at the sound of Zayn's laugh. It's not that I didn't want to smile, but I was still a bit nervous. What if expecting him to have this conversation now was too much? What if he pushed me away again?

"I wouldn't want that either." He chuckled out, and I just loved him so much. I knew that telling him this was the right thing to do, even if he didn't tell me a single thing in return. You needed to be open with your partner. Zayn had a right to know things about my past that nobody else did.

"Listen, can we talk?" I asked him, and I felt him tense up a bit as he leaned back a bit to look up at me. "There's just something I want to tell you. About me. About my past." I said, nearly whispering the last sentence.

I felt Zayn squeeze my hand as he nodded his head. "Yes. You can tell me anything, Li. I'm here for you." He promised, pecking my lips, and I took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling and thinking of where I should begin the story.