#326 in Humor
A hilarious warped parody of our favorite childhood story, The Wizard of Oz, but what really is a story without our dear orange skinned racist bigot, Donald Trump?
*extended summary inside*
-UNEDITED
-written in early 2016
It wasn't long until Pansy and Simon the Tin Man had journeyed further down the Road of Bling, that they saw a girl wearing a hula skirt.
"Aloha!" Her lips were bigger than Pansy's future.
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"Who are you supposed to be?" Asked Pansy.
"I'm hired to be the straw man."
"Don't ya mean the scarecrow?"
"Wuteva."
Simon rubbed his nipples in concentration. "Wait, aren't you Kylie Jenner?"
"Who's Kylie Jenner?" Queried Pansy.
"The irrelevant Kardashian sister," explained Simon.
"I'M NOT IRRELEVANT!" Kylie started to cry. She wiped her tears with a hundred dollar bill. "I'M NOT EVEN A KARDASHIAN."
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"Cool story bro."
"How come you're the scarecrow? Are you secretly a man?" Pansy asked.
Kylie shook her head. "No the man in the family is Khloé."
"I don't suppose you're doing this job for the money are you?"
"Nah, fam. I need more publicity for my app is all. Make sure to download it in the Apple app-"
"SHUT UP, BITCH WE AINT ASK FOR YOUR LIFE STORY!" Simon dropkicked her.
Kylie started to wail again. She licked her mucus with the tip of her tongue. "I'M TELLING MY DADDY."
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"Don't you mean mommy? Heck I'm confused."
They started to bicker before Pansy interrupted. "Why aren't you wearing straw?"
"God Forbid I wear anything that's not designer. I have a rep to keep you know. This hula skirt is from Dolce and Gabanna."
"It makes you look fat."
"I'M NOT FAT." Kylie exploded in her third round of tears.
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Ladies and Gentlemen, your brainless scarecrow.
They furthered on their journey, Simon asking Kylie if she could teach him some lip lining hacks he could use with his metallic lipstick. Kylie, not wanting to confess that she had injected her lips with cement, agreed to teach him afterwards the adventure is completed.
"What are you going to Lean City to do?" Asked Pansy to Kylie.
"Lean City? I thought we were going to Victoria's Secret!"
"Oh my word!" Simon exclaimed in his British accent before knocking out Kylie with his fist out of disgust and rage. He scratched his butt angrily. "Get me a stick and some rope!" Simon ordered Pansy.
They then continued to carry her on the road like a rotisserie chicken.
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