#326 in Humor
A hilarious warped parody of our favorite childhood story, The Wizard of Oz, but what really is a story without our dear orange skinned racist bigot, Donald Trump?
*extended summary inside*
-UNEDITED
-written in early 2016
This is entirely a work of fiction, people, and contains a lot of humor based and exaggerated elements so please do not get offended. This is like one big joke book.
That was just a nicer way of saying if you're a hella butthurt person, the door is to your right.
I still love you, though.
*Disclaimer Update: May I repeat myself again: THIS IS ENTIRELY A WORK OF FICTION, AND IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH ANY HUMAN BEING, LIVING OR DEAD, OR OCCURRENCE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. IDK
PLEASE DON'T SUE ME I'M STILL IN SECONDARY SCHOOL AND I HAVE A WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF ME BRUH 😭😭😭*
Also, steal any part of this book, and I will summon a powerful juju curse upon you so strong that your unborn grandchildren will feel it.
•••
It was a normal day at NoWheresVille, Antarctica, and Pansy felt no giddier as he pranced and pirouetted across the thawing icebergs of the South Pole.
The earth was getting warmer and warmer, and although his father had sussed it was because of global warming and the world would eventually die of this hazard, Pansy knew he was lying.
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According to Donald Trump's Twitter page, which he so religiously stalked, "THE WORLD IS PRACTICALLY FREEZING AND GLOBAL WARMING IS A HOAX" and why would he not believe his hero, Trump, but his useless father who'd done nothing but provide for him since the day he was pushed out from his mother's vagina?
The man clearly didn't care for him at all: he bought Pansy the wrong color of Yeezy's and an iPhone 6 plus instead of a rose gold.
Tsk tsk, what an abomination of a dad.
Pansy angrily spat into the water.
Unfortunately, he missed, and his wad of saliva landed right in the eye of a mutant penguin. It started to squawk angrily, or whatever sounds that penguins make when they get mad. Angry Penguin had one hell of a bîtch stare.
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But Pansy stared back in an equally menacing glare.
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Or at least, as menacing as he could manage.
Angry Penguin started to screech out a strange call, flapping its miniature wings. When nothing happened, Pansy started to cachinnate.
Behind Angry Penguin, a mob of other penguins waddled their way towards him. They were...
"ZOMBIE PENGUINS!" The color drained from Pansy's face.
He began to run, his heart tugging in his chest as he passed by Starbucks without purchasing a half decaf mocha choco non fat milk Americano latte with cinnamon sticks and chocolate shavings and whip and the tears of fairies in Neverland.
In his moment of wistfulness, he slipped, Yeezy's sliding against the ice until a spray of freezing water hit him.
Pansy wanted to scream, but nothing came out of his mouth, and shock overtook his body as he sank down
