#326 in Humor
A hilarious warped parody of our favorite childhood story, The Wizard of Oz, but what really is a story without our dear orange skinned racist bigot, Donald Trump?
*extended summary inside*
-UNEDITED
-written in early 2016
Pansy reappeared beside a corn field down The Road of Bling. He saw a middle aged man peeing in the corner.
"Ya little nasty!" Pansy exclaimed in a Raven-esque voice.
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The man swiveled, quickly hiding his two-inch destroyer. "Geez. What does a guy have to do for some privacy around here?"
Pansy looked closer at the man. "SIMON COWELL!"
Simon shushed him.
"Keep it down. I'm supposed to be wearing this costume according to my boss and if he finds out, I'm in trouble." He gestured to a tin man costume that rested in a hole.
"Don't you have a lot of money already? You don't need the job."
"Yeah I know; I have enough money to buy you. But my boss promised to give me a reality tv show on E! called, The Incredible And Not At All Creepy Life Of Simon Cowell." Simon grinned. "I chose the name."
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"Sounds mainstream."
"YOUR MOM IS MAINSTREAM." Simon massaged his man nipples angrily.
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Pansy cowered. "Chill, man. Anyways, how do I get to the City of Lean?"
"I was expecting a Dorothy but whatever. I'm sure Nicki already told you to follow the road."
"Nicki?"
Simon rolled his eyes. "I really fucking hate you already but according to my job I have to go tag along. What's your name?"
"Pansy Femme."
Simon 'cachinnated'. God forbid any of the characters simply laugh, no. 😨
Pansy frowned. What was it with everyone in Trumpville and laughing at his name? His father gave it to him because it was very masculine and fitting. They were probably just jealous.
"That's the best joke I've heard all day," said Simon. "We better get a move on now. I have TONS of people to break their dreams and hearts, and ruin their very purpose of living."
They began to walk. "I'm going to the City of Lean for crack. What are you going there for?"
"I'd like to keep my business private kid." Simon slid on some shades.
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When Pansy turned to look at him again, he was applying silver eyeshadow and lipstick.
"Why are you wearing makeup?"
"I have to at least make an effort in the Tin Man costume."
"Why don't you just wear the Tin Man suit?"
"Ughhh. It's bad for my gorgeous velvety complexion," Simon explained.
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"You could just wear the suit and suck it up."
"DON'T FUCKING TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE, BOYYY!" Simon pouted. "DON'T HATE ME CUZ IM BOOTYFUL."
In silence and fear, Pansy continued down the Road of Bling, alongside the Heartless Tin Man currently without any tin, Simon Cowell.
