#326 in Humor
A hilarious warped parody of our favorite childhood story, The Wizard of Oz, but what really is a story without our dear orange skinned racist bigot, Donald Trump?
*extended summary inside*
-UNEDITED
-written in early 2016
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Everyone turned to give Simon a deadpan face.
"I'm sorry I've just really wanted to say that for a long time," he explained.
"NOTICE ME!!!" Iggy exclaimed, her lace wig threatening to rip off.
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"Aren't you supposed to be on a highway from LA to Tokyo?" Pansy asked.
"There isn't a highway from LA to Tokyo, dammit." Simon slapped him upside the head.
"Ow! Good thing my dad says I have a thick skull." Pansy smiled.
Simon blinked.
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"NOTICE ME!!!!!!!!" Iggy yelled once more, her cellulite jiggling wildly.
She stomped her foot, and the ground tremored again.
"Woah how did she do that?" Pansy asked in awe.
Kylie nodded veraciously.
"Must have something to do with that big booty of hers," Khaled started. "Very similar to your case, Kylie, except she infused ten pounds of cement instead of just a filling in her bottom."
"IT WUZ SILICON😒!"
"Oh, so you finally admit?"
"ARGHHH😡💆!"
Esther walks into the scene from the collateral wings from nowhere. She is wearing her smartie smart director hat. She announces in a stage whisper, "Please I will need you all to go a little easier on Kylie. Her sanity level is already as low as can be and we'll need her ass till the end of this craptastic book, kay?" She locks gazes with the camera. "Carry on." Then bounds off the stage.
"Her voice is sooo annoying," Simon sneered. "She doesn't have my vote."
"SIMON SHUT UP IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE DIGESTED BY AN ALLIGATOR IN THE NEXT PART!"
His mouth is shut.
"Urgh NOTICE MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Iggy don't be such an attention whore!
"Why is your butt so big, Iggy?"
"Hey y'all let's call her Biggy instead!"
"Huehuehuehue I like the sound of that; Biggy Azalea."
"WHY ARE YOU ALL PICKING ON ME!" Iggy cried. Her face was streamed with clots of cheap foundation and mascara.
Khaled shrugged. "We can't do it so much on Kylie and we need someone else to pick on. Luckily for us you're another easy target."
"NO I'M NOT, I'M FANCY!"
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Simon yawned. "I'm bored with her; lets get rid of her."
"You right," Pansy concurred.
"ARE YOU FUCKING WITH THE TEAM?!" Iggy screamed.
"Hey dat wuz the song where u kissed my arse by mentioning mee!" Kylie recalled.
"I DID NOT!"
"Y'know what, Iggy? Trump probably sent you here to stall us, but I'll give you one less problem if you get the fuck out of our way."
"Alright alright," she said, punching Pansy in the gut and running away with his Yeezy's.
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"I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT MY SHOES AIN'T ONE HOLLAAAA!"
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Pansy's iPhone started to ring in his pocket. He pulled it out, grimacing at his father's mistake of a 6Plus and not a 6Rose Gold. Blue was calling him on FaceTime, or FaceTiming him, whatever.
"Hello?" He spoke.
A strobe light flashed across Blue's face from the screen. "THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! THERE IS BIG TROUBLE!" She screamed.
•••
i know y'all must be crazy mad at me so I'm not even gonna-
